GOOD MORNING, Philadelphia politicians. Campaign staffers. Ward leaders. Miscellaneous machine cogs. Engaged citizens. Winners. Losers.
Are you hungover? We probably are.
Here's a roundup of yesterday's shenanigans and skulduggery in this special Election Day edition of Clout.
The Carpenters Union, which backed state Sen. Anthony Hardy Williams for mayor, had folks all over the place yesterday, as would be expected - except they were wearing shirts that weren't exactly accurate, according to Frank Keel, who reps electricians union chief John "Johnny Doc" Dougherty.
"In keeping with their tradition of deceit," Keel vented via email, "their members are wearing 'BUILDING TRADES FOR ANTHONY WILLIAMS' shirts.
"Two problems," Keel angrily typed, "The Philadelphia Building Trades endorsed Jim Kenney for mayor, not Williams. Secondly, the Carpenters are NOT members of the Philadelphia Building Trades."
For Chrissakes, Frank, they're carpenters. No one said they had a doctorate in truthology.
The Jesus endorsement
Michael "Philly Jesus" Grant waited until the last minute to issue his endorsement - by voting.
He chose former City Councilman Kenney. And why not? Most of the other big names in the city went Kenney's way in the last week of the race.
But according to one of the five photos @phillyjesus tweeted from his polling place, he apparently wrote in "Philly Jesus" for one office. We're not sure which.
Does it matter? Of course it matters, you infidel.
Palm card, no hands
Check it out. Some guy at the Taney Street playground polling place in Center City was actually wearing a sample ballot featuring Kenney and other candidates. Political adman/golf caddie Neil Oxman snapped a pic we got hold of. "Human palm card," remarked Clout overlord Gar Joseph, who also serves as the Daily News assistant managing editor.
We like this technique. Very effective. Frees up both hands. Would like to see more of this in the future. Know what? Screw the Internet, bring back wearable sandwich-board signs!
Oh, c'mon with this stuff
Before Clout was even out of bed yesterday, the emails began to arrive. One of them - subject line: "Anthony Hardy Williams breaking the law" - came from an employee of the Mariposa Food Co-op with photos of Williams campaign vehicles parked in a no-parking zone while he ate breakfast at the Cedar Park Cafe.
"Why would I trust him to be our mayor?" asked the tipster, who included 15 megabytes' worth of photos.
Hold on, guy. Did you just try to fashion a last-minute talking point out of where Williams parked his car on Election Day? Good hustle, but we're so glad this thing is over. Delete!
Councilwoman Maria Quinones-Sanchez flagged apparently illegal sample ballots in North Philly that didn't state who they were funded by - except for a tiny line saying "Labor Donated."
The ballots were created by LUPE, or Latinos United for Political Empowerment, which endorsed possible racist crazy person Manny Morales. (Late to the party? Just Google "Facebook Manny Morales.")
Sanchez's legal team eventually filed an injunction for voter fraud. Staffers from the District Attorney's Office spoke with election workers about the ballots, which were being handed out by Morales' volunteers. One of the volunteers was wearing a LUPE shirt but said she had no idea what LUPE was.
Helen hates us
Boys' Latin chief executive David Hardy went off yesterday in an email about Council candidate Helen Gym that he sent to teachers. In only 15 sentences, he packed no fewer than seven directives instructing teachers not to vote for Gym, a schools activist often at odds with pro-charter-school types.
"I'm sure you know that [state Senator and mayoral candidate] Tony Williams has been a friend to our school from its inception. Helen Gym, don't vote for her," Hardy wrote in the email. "Jannie Blackwell is also a strong supporter of Boys' Latin. Not Helen. She hates us." In his sign-off Hardy added, "Enjoy your day off. BTW, don't vote for Helen Gym."
"I send all kind of crazy stuff. I joke all the time," Hardy later said, noting that he was a stand-up comic from 1985 to 2000.
- Daily News staff writers William Bender, Jenny DeHuff, Solomon Leach and Annie Palmer and
The Next Mayor's Ryan Briggs
contributed to this report.
On Twitter: @wbender99