This was a very busy year for words. I calculated that in the approximately 50 columns I’ve written since Donald Trump was inaugurated, I marshaled at least 40,000 words to make various points. (And I couldn’t even begin to count the number of words — most of them with four-lettered profanities — that readers have sent to me in the last 365 days.)
Some words I’ve written stand out from the rest, both because of their frequent appearance and their significance in the context of this annus horribilis (or annus mirabilis, depending upon your point of view).
With that in mind, I created a glossary of Words That Mattered in 2017 — filtered, of course, through my own unique perspective. You might not agree with my selections, but you have to admit that they are at least as creative as Alec Baldwin’s sleepwalk of a Trump impersonation.
I’m sure that I’ve missed a few that you might consider important, like #ShePersisted (in annoying everyone, including real Native Americans) or Kathy Griffin (who was last seen posting shots of a headless Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper on Instagram).
I’d love to hear what words mattered to you this year. But, so that I can differentiate it from my usual mail, please make sure the words have more than four letters.
A is for Antifa, which describes a group opposed to a totalitarianism that only exists on The Rachel Maddow Show and at coffeehouses that refuse to carry processed sugar.
B is for Bannon, as in Steve (or Satan).
C is for Charlottesville, which has all sorts of people on both sides.
D is for Democrats, who are “woke.”
E is for Emoluments, which is neither a lotion nor, as of the latest court ruling, a problem for Donald Trump.
F is for — take your pick — Flynn (as in Michael) or for Felony (as in how many Trump associates have been charged so far?). Or perhaps it’s for F-U (as in F-U, Mr. President).
G is for Gorsuch, who is going to make this country safe for unborn babies again.
H is for Hate, which has no home “here,” except if the president is knocking at the door.
I is for Ivanka, who wants to be liked again. Or is it that she wants to be left alone? Or that she wants to be anywhere but here?
J is for Jared and Jerusalem, neither of which is helping out with Middle East peace negotiations.
K is for Kellyanne, who, until Laura Ingraham joined the network, was the only blonde on Fox News with smarts, guts, and visible roots.
L is for Little Rocket Man, which is not an abbreviated version of a song by Elton John.
M is for #MeToo, which can be cross-referenced with “W” for Witch hunt.
N is for #NotMyPresident, which was initially spelled #NotACitizen and became popular during the last administration.
O is for Omarosa, or Obama, depending upon whom you hate more (assuming, of course, that hate has a home here).
Q is for Que sera, sera, which is what Nancy Pelosi replied when asked when she was planning to retire.
R is for Republicans, who don’t need to be “woke,” because they’re in power. It is also for Roy Moore, who isn’t.
S is for Streep, which rhymes with “creep,” another word for Harvey Weinstein. Streep claims she had no idea about Weinstein’s bad behavior, which is why she didn’t say a peep.
T is for Trump, of course. Or Tax Reform. Or Tavis, who is not so smiley these days.
U is for U.N., U.K., Ukraine, and U gotta be kidding me, Kevin Spacey is gay?
V is for Very, our president’s favorite word. Everything is very big, very strong, or very much not our business (especially when it comes to his taxes).
W is for Wisconsin — and why on earth didn’t Hillary Clinton campaign there?
X is for Xenophobe, which means you don’t like foreigners. Or Xanax, which is now covered in prescription plans issued to registered GOP members in Alabama.
Y is for Yellowstone National Park, whose rivers will now match their name if the EPA wants to decriminalize peeing on federal lands. Or whatever else it is they claim to want to regulate these days.
Z is for Zombie, which is what Gen. John Kelly looks like whenever he has to stand behind the president at a public event.