Christine M. Flowers: The Petraeus sex scandal goes from bad to verse
BY THE SHORES of Hoochy-Coochy By the shining Tampa waters Stood the wigwam of Petraeus General of platoons, Petraeus.
BY THE SHORES of
Hoochy-Coochy
By the shining Tampa
waters
Stood the wigwam of Petraeus
General of platoons, Petraeus.
Close behind him, not near Holly
Stood the source of our man's
folly
With sweet Paula did he dally
Both at home and in Pech Valley
Sad to say, our man betrayed us
Noble warrior Petraeus
He who worked with angry
Sunnis
And dismayed the Shi'ite
goonies
Soiled his honor, with a loony.
Paula was a savvy woman
Wrote a book called, ahem, "All
In,"
And like Samson's fierce Delilah
Daughter of disgrace, Delilah
Helped the fearless general sin
But his wigwam was quite busy
Sending Paula in a tizzy
When she learned of Mrs. Kelley
Who would visit . . . just a friend
Lady Broadwell didn't likey
When her own beloved Ikey
Seemed to share his martial
favors
With another that he savored
So, well-greased with
gin-and-tonics
Paula hit on Miss Platonic
Sending out her cyber libels
Hoping to undo her rival
And evict the lovely Jilly
From the wigwam, willy-nilly
Problem was, the other lady
Was indeed a little shady
But she wasn't rubbing noses
Or assuming four-star poses
With the general Paula savored
Jill was seeking different favors
Not "All In" but . . . Allen.
Oh, the tangled web we're
weaving
When to Holly's hub, we're
cleaving
And our own we are deceiving
Blinded by the wild affair
Big-eyed daughter of despair.
Paula's foolish cyber-surging
Angered Jill and, claws
emerging,
Mrs. Kelley started urging
Friends to help her out.
Certain that she had the access
To demand and order redress
For the threats and cyber excess
Jill contacted FBI
They in turn, investigated
And found out, a bit belated
That Petraeus wasn't hated
By the Big-Eyed Broad(well)
Steamy messages abounded
From the wigwam, groans
resounded
But Petraeus was surrounded
By Obama's friends.
No one leaked the information
Of sweet David's recreation
Could have stopped the
coronation
Of the Prez and all his men
Still, the CIA was under
Microscopes and, little wonder
That the head spy's major
blunder
Caused the noble myth to end
That the man was truly flawless
That his acts could not appall us
And that he who stood the
tallest
Couldn't to such depths
descend.
If this were a private matter
Tawdry, chick-lit, porno-chatter
We would all be much the
sadder
But the country would survive.
But therein lies our great
problem
With this hero late of Bagram
Who allowed a hubris harem
To endanger citizens
We know not if information
Gathered to protect our nation
Was in cyber circulation
Tawdry pillow talk.
Furthermore, we aren't certain
And for this, we're truly hurtin'
What effect immoral actions
Had on Libya.
Stevens was assassinated
Consulates eviscerated,
While the government debated
Sending in support.
Was the scandal a distraction?
Did this fatal, sick attraction
Add to negligent inaction
Causing four to die?
We might never know the story
Of the general's shattered glory
Never fully have the gory
Truth, and consequence
But we owe it to the fallen
Those who answered when we called them
To demand of generals, all in
That they act with grace
To betray a spouse is sickening
And a private sin, needs
reckoning
Just between the two, some
counseling
And apology
To betray a country, wretched
For the millions left dejected
And the recklessness reflected
As the halo dims.
Great Petraeus was Aurelius
Caesar, Washington, Augustus
We believed he was fidelus
Foolishly, we see.
There have always been
betrayals
Men and women, lacking morals
But this time, it hurts much
more
As, quietly, we grieve.