Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Relationship rocky? Take some Valentine’s Day advice from Bernie Parent

Bernie Parent
Bernie Parent

Valentine’s Day is about affection and relationships. It’s like the mark of a new year for your love life and your relationships. This time of year, I vow to reflect on my relationships, stop judging a partner, and try to be more understanding.

Two of the most important things that I see missing from relationships:

The first, and arguably the most important component, is communication. The couples that are happy always have great communication. It helps them to better understand each other and their feelings. It’s never healthy when you’d prefer to have a dialogue with yourself instead of your partner.

The second missing component is hugging, touching, affection. When was the last time you had a good hug and a good laugh with your partner? I’ll bet a big percentage of people, especially those that have been engulfed in a long relationship or marriage, couldn’t answer it. Be proactive in preventing your relationship from turning stale. Be spontaneous, creative, and diversified to keep it fresh. Be honest with yourself, share it with your partner, and change it.

The beauty about being single is having so many options in life. And when we get into a committed relationship or a marriage, life becomes repetitious and you catch yourself just going through the motions. You never allow the relationship to grow.

I see good relationships very few and far between. Whether you’re married or not, I’m asking you this Valentine’s Day to make a Valentine’s Day resolution. Commit to yourself and your partner in pushing your relationship in the direction that you mutually agree you’d like it to go. Laugh and have fun. Show the affection that each of you are craving. Because whatever you’re doing, it ain’t working.

The number one offense in a committed relationship or marriage is not allowing your partner to be who they are; they can’t be their own wolf that I’ve mentioned so many times before. Just because you’re committed, it doesn’t mean you are not your own individual. And this is exactly where communication comes in full force. Express what makes the two of you happy in life, and allow each other to pursue it.

I feel that if two individuals allow one another to pursue their own personal goals, journeys and aspirations, it makes us that much more eager to come home and share our lives with each other. Go on that fishing trip, go on that spa retreat, just have fun. You will establish an open and receptive attitude, which in turn creates harmony in the home. And don’t forget, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Instead of buying the flowers and the chocolate and the jewelry this Valentine’s Day, give your partner the gift of conversation, understanding, spontaneity, creativity, and a new commitment to making your relationship stronger in the coming year.

In closing … stay horny my friends. As always.

Bernie Parent For Philly.com
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