On the other hand, my boyfriend has done very well. He is an established business owner with deep pockets, and he is very generous.
I live with him and don't pay rent. He pays for things, but I do the work (grocery shop, cook, etc). He has a housekeeper who comes every two weeks and cleans, so I don't even do that!
I'm very lucky. We don't have an arranged "allowance" per se, but he also helps me to buy things.
Is this unfair? I'm feeling guilty and like I'm not a very strong woman.
My boyfriend is generous to everyone in his life.
I have been lucky enough to take loans from him I'm not yet able to repay. He doesn't complain, but I wonder if you have any advice on what I might do in the meantime to contribute or "pay him back" before I can actually pay him back.
- Marisa Dear Marisa: Your boyfriend sounds like a very nice and generous guy. Let's hope he never tires of you.
In my mind, at 29, you are too old not to be solvent - or at least on your way to financial security.
You have chosen a career in a notoriously fickle and challenging business.
You also lack the security of being married.
Marriage doesn't automatically solve the whole equity thing between couples, and I'm not suggesting that you press for marriage, but your financial situation is influencing you in ways you aren't even aware of - your feelings of guilt are a function of this.
You could repay the loans made to you by actually paying him back. Get a paying job while you're working toward your creative career. And have a frank and honest discussion about finances with your boyfriend.
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