I miss having family time and adult conversation. My husband knows how I feel but continues to go out. Recently, he started asking me each time if I mind if he goes out.
If I say, "Yes, I do mind," then I feel I am being clingy, needy and possessive.
I don't like feeling that way, but if I tell him to make his own decision or if I say that he should go ahead and go, then, according to him, I am "playing games." I don't like that either.
What should I do?
- Worried WifeDear Worried: No responsible husband and parent should go to a bar four to six nights a week. Your husband is behaving like an adolescent, and now he is gaslighting you into acting like his mommy.
Neat trick.
He really needs a useful hobby; he should also have a role at home that extends beyond playing frat boy with his brother.
You and your husband could work things out for now by compromising on how your week should go.
Perhaps he can go out one night, you can go out with your friends one night, and then one night you two could go out together while his brother takes care of the kids (that is, only if you deem him to be a responsible adult; obviously, I have my doubts).
Also, because your husband can't seem to handle the temptation presented by his brother, if things don't change, the brother needs to go. It's your household too, and you should have a say over who lives there.
Your feelings belong to you, and you get to choose how to react. If you're upset, be honest about it and say so.
If your husband doesn't like your reaction, that's his problem to solve.
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