It is a loveless relationship, and why we stay together is a mystery.
Lately, I have had the urge to find someone new. I'd like to talk to a companion. Do other people just stay miserably in a dead-end marriage because it's convenient or maybe because we're all scared of change?
My husband doesn't care to talk about it or see a counselor, and I'm not interested in a counselor, either.
We've been together too long - since high school - and we're both 50.
I guess it's time to divorce.
- Bored
Dear Bored: If you and your husband are both listless, bored, grouchy and estranged, maybe it is time to call it a day. But you, at least, seem to want something different. You say you want a companion. You want someone to talk to.
Some married couples do stay in dead-end relationships - because they don't want to leave their kids in the lurch, because they can't afford to live separately, because they're crippled with ennui or afraid of change.
If you want things to be different, then do things differently. The best place to start is with that lump on the couch. (I'm talking about you.)
You sound like a very old 50-year-old. You could shake up your life, not by leaving your marriage, but by trying something new. Join a club. Exercise. Visit an art gallery. And, yes, try therapy. You should invite your husband along - but if he doesn't want to join you, that's his choice.
Your kick-start might inspire him - or it might not. But you'll meet people and develop new interests, and that will be good for you.
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