Annette John-Hall: Event will raise money for Susanna DeLaurentis Charitable Foundation

Shelley DeLaurentis gets a little annoyed every time she's asked how she and husband Michael coped with what Shelley refers to as their double whammy - two of their three children suffering from life-threatening diseases.

In particular, caring for the youngest, cancer-stricken Susanna, until the inevitable end.

The question suggests they had an alternative. Of course, no parent ever does.

"I never really dwelled on it," says Shelley, 62, a slight woman with a no-nonsense haircut and a familiar demeanor. "A nervous breakdown would be an easy way out, but that wasn't who I was. This is just what we had to do. We didn't have a choice."

Despite enduring more than their fair share of tragedy, the DeLaurentis family looks forward to the second Friday in November. Tonight, at the Trust Venue in Old City, they'll be dining and dancing to the oldies with hundreds of others to raise money for the Susanna DeLaurentis Charitable Foundation.

The foundation awards scholarships to high school seniors who have suffered from debilitating diseases. Now in its 11th year, it has given 60 $1,000 scholarships and has raised money for cancer and cystic fibrosis research.

Just as important, it has kept Susanna's memory alive, because it allows Shelley and Michael to talk about the charity's namesake.

"She was a nifty, unusual kid," Michael, 64, says of Susanna, who was only 10 when she died in 1999. "What amazed people most about her was she was spunky as hell and very positive even though she knew exactly what was going on with her."

Michael and Shelley use many of the same adjectives to describe middle child Lucy, 25, who was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at six weeks.

"Because Lucy understands the magnitude of her disease, she knows the odds of surviving until 35 aren't good," her mother says. "I do have hope, but I'm also very aware of the clock ticking, so I feel very pressured to raise money to get this disease under control in her lifetime."

Like most new parents, the DeLaurentises were excited with the arrival of their oldest, son Micah, now 29. Micah was the first grandchild, the apple of everybody's eye. He was born healthy.

Then came Lucy, and her early diagnosis. And three years later, Susanna. Micah and Susanna were tested for the cystic fibrosis gene. They were clean, much to their parents' relief.

But life sometimes has a cruel way. In about the time it took for her skin to blanche, blood vessels to pop out of her eye, and her delightful toddler babble to turn into listless whimpering, 2-year-old Susanna was found to have neuroblastoma, a particularly aggressive and treatment-resistent form of pediatric cancer.

Life became an endless cycle of chemotherapy treatments and hospitalizations. Shelley took an extended leave as a high-level manager at Johnson & Johnson and moved into Children's Hospital of Philadelphia with Susanna for a year. Michael, a lawyer, lived in the library, researching everything there was to know about neuroblastoma. He even suggested treatment options to Susanna's doctors.

A bone marrow transplant seemed to work. Susanna got through her fifth year cancer-free. Maybe, just maybe, her parents could look to the future for once, not over their shoulders.

But at 7, Susanna started complaining of backaches. The cancer had returned with a vengeance.

The grim news and prognosis crushed Shelley. Michael went into military mode. They took Susanna to Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center for more treatment. And through it all - the toxic chemo coursing through her little body, the hair loss, the black and blue marks on her arms from the morphine drip - Susanna maintained a wisdom, maturity, and compassion well beyond her years.

Her parents believed Susanna died knowing she had fulfilled her purpose. Now, they have redirected their focus to Lucy, who has lost 25 percent of her lung capacity.

"It's not just about writing a check," she says of her fund-raising mission. "It's about letting my daughter live or not."