Question: Our 28-year-old son "Bill" has been married for five years to a woman we are slowly starting to resent.
"Jennifer" is working on an advanced degree in Italian. She took the opportunity to study abroad for a year in Italy, and Bill suspended his own career path to go to Italy as well. They ended up living in separate cities. Shortly after returning to the States, she took a job as a flight attendant, which means she spends days at a time away from home. She has recently received two scholarships for study, one in another city for three months and the other to return to Italy for a year. Bill will not leave his job for either one. We're finding it hard to shake the feeling that she prefers to spend time away from Bill.
In addition, her father is fairly wealthy and has bought their two homes for them; Bill's name does not appear on either. She calls and visits her family regularly, but we see her maybe once a year, and we never speak on the phone unless we ask if we can say hi.
Bill is very intelligent, personable, and hardworking (as is she), but we're wondering if he's just "settling" for someone who doesn't seem to give him or his family much of her attention. He says they're doing "fine" but doesn't want to talk in any more detail about their marriage. My wife has been pushing me to pursue a deeper conversation with our son. Thoughts?