Sideshow: Royals: No buff Harry pics, please

A nation mourns: Britain has banned photos of the nude Prince Harry's princely buff bod to be published by media outlets. ("No naughty pics please, we're British.")

The London newspaper the Guardian reports that, due to pressure from a furious royal family, the infamous nude pics, taken during a strip party in a Vegas resort, have been banned from use by the news media in Britain.

The ban on buff Harry's buff bod was effected when Clarence House appealed to the media watchdog org Press Complaints Commission (PCC), saying that by the PCC's code of conduct, showing the pics would violate Harry's right to privacy. (Britain has tighter privacy regulations than the United States'.) A Clarence House rep says it's not taking any legal action.

All major Brit publications have opted not to run the photos, though London's Daily Mail did the public a solid by publishing a list of all the websites that have posted them.

Hours before Prince Harry took it all off and flirted with a party girl at a strip billiards game, he was taped having a heated swimming race with Ryan Lochte at a 28th b'day pool party for the 11-time Olympic medalist at Wynn Las Vegas. "I was still in my clothes - and he said, 'Hey, you wanna go in and race me?' " Lochte told Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb on Thursday on Today. "And, hey, this is a once-in-a-lifetime time. So I just took off my shirt and jumped in, and we just raced." Needless to say, Lochte won. Harry is "an actual, pretty good swimmer," the Olympian said.

J.K. Rowling will make her only book appearance in America to publicize her adult novel The Casual Vacancy. It'll be Oct. 16 at New York's 1,100-seat Jazz at Lincoln Center. Tix cost about $40 and go on sale Sept. 10 at the Lincoln Center box office. Info: http://lc.lincolncenter.org/.

Director Tony Scott, who committed suicide Sunday, will be commemorated at a "private, family-only" ceremony this weekend in Los Angeles, reports Deadline.com. Family say they are also organizing a public event. Details to be announced after Labor Day.

Twisted Sister's heavy-rockin'-head-bangin'-soul-chillin'-hard-partyin' Dee Snider says GOP veep candidate, the post-Ayn Randian Paul Ryan has no right to use the band's anthem, "We're Not Gonna Take It," for his campaign. "I emphatically denounce . . . Ryan's use of my song," Dee says, emphatically. "There is almost nothing on which I agree with Paul Ryan, except perhaps the use of the P90X." (The P90X is not a space-based laser weapons program. It's a home-workout regimen.)

Did Bachelorette star Emily Maynard two-time her TV-made fiancé, Jeff Holm? Us Weekly says that, during a recent getaway in Myrtle Beach, S.C., Jeff found on Emily's phone explicit texts and photos she exchanged with another man. Us says Jeff's bro Mike Holm verified the report. Maynard, single mom to daughter, Ricki, 7, tells People "it's 100 percent not true."

Let's Make a Deal will hold contestant auditions at 2 p.m. Saturday at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. Two lucky people will be flown to Lalaland to see the show; one will compete on the Wayne Brady-hosted extravaganza. Info: www.CBSPhilly.com.

Rapper and NCIS: Los Angeles star LL Cool J (James Todd Smith to his mum), 44, rumbled with a burglar Wednesday in his L.A. house, then caught and detained the evildoer until the cops arrived, local affiliate KABC-TV reports. "As a father, husband, and citizen," said Cool J's rep, "he is committed to keeping his family safe."

John Lennon's killer, Mark David Chapman, has been denied parole for the seventh time. . . .       Taylor Swift and child-beau Conor Kennedy may have crashed the wedding of a bona-fide grown-up Kennedy, a hanging offense if there ever was one. USA Today asks, "Can [the Taylor-Conor] relationship endure and flourish?" . . . Robert Pattinson, his cheatin' soul mate Kristen Stewart, and Liberty Ross, wronged wife of KStew's fellow cheater Rupert Sanders, have separately been spotted in public in Lalaland doing things that people do, USAToday.com says. . . . Los Angeles authorities will continue to investigate Natalie Wood's 1981 death indefinitely, having amended the cause of death on her death certificate from accidental drowning to "drowning and other undetermined factors." . . .  "I'm nervous that I'm not going to be a good mom," pregnant reality-TV human-fiction Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi - a fervent anti-Lamaze-ian - tells In Touch Weekly. Her first baby with fiancé Jionni LaValle is due in three weeks. Her fears aside, Snooki says she prays she'll be a good mom. . . . Québécoise chanteuse Céline Dion, 44, has posed topless "for a risqué, high-fashion photo shoot" in V magazine, says People. . . . Actor-singer Hilary Duff, 24, is the 18th cousin of Queen Elizabeth II, making her the Yank most closely related to the Brit royals.