Stu Bykofsky: The (for once) Good News column
GOOD NEWS IS usually bad news for newspapers, while bad news - crime, disaster, scandal - sells newspapers. That unhappy truism explains why you so often find "bad news" on Page One. It's not that we like bad news, it's that you seem to really get a bang out of it. Not blaming you - just saying circulation figures tell us what sells.
GOOD NEWS IS usually bad news for newspapers, while bad news - crime, disaster, scandal - sells newspapers.
That unhappy truism explains why you so often find "bad news" on Page One. It's not that we like bad news, it's that you seem to really get a bang out of it. Not blaming you - just saying circulation figures tell us what sells.
You want online "clicks"? Just mention a porn star or Charlie Sheen. That's what attracts eyeballs, not economic stories or tick outbreaks on Peruvian llamas.
Paris Hilton. Jennifer Aniston. Brad Pitt. Lady Gaga. Halle Berry. Michael Vick. Michael Moore. Mandy Moore.
The way Google algorithms work, I have just doubled my readership. This column will pop up when anyone searches for any of the above.
(If you arrived here because you were searching for the above, sorry.)
I enjoy looking a gift horse in the mouth because I lean toward skepticism and pessimism.
Every few months I take a break from the Dark Side (hometown of Buzz Bissinger) and do a heartwarming column, often well-received, but little-commented-on. When readers really like something, they usually send me a signed e-mail. When they don't, they post anonymously and hatefully. That's why I seldom read "comments" and never respond to them. My feisty colleague Christine Flowers does. Maybe it's her Catholic capacity for self-abuse; maybe she has a lot of free time during the Eagles off-season.
Even as a skeptic, I was disappointed by how both papers played the good news on the day word broke that Philadelphia's five-decade population slide had not merely stopped, but been reversed.
Both the Inquirer and the Daily News put the story on Page One, but the (suburban-strong) Inky seemed to express surprise that the city grew, "barely," as the headline sneered.
The People's Paper called the growth a "spurt," but the main story called the growth "tiny," which is true - but wait!
The growth was 0.56 percent, which is small, but calling it small states the obvious. What might it mean?
The growth occurred in several areas, geographically mainly in Center City (welcome empty-nesters, gays, hipsters) and demographically among Hispanics and Asians. Welcome! (Please don't ride your bicycles on the sidewalk.)
Let's assume - and it is an assumption - that Philly can replicate that 1/2-percentage increase this year and next and so on, for the decade. At the end, the increase would be 5 percent, and that would be near-historic.
I know there are naysayers and Debbie Downers, but this time I'm not among them.
The population spurt added to other good news for Philadelphians in recent weeks.
The Pew Charitable Trusts' Philadelphia Research Initiative reported that Philadelphians' long-term view of their city was positive - even before the Phillies' first win. (It was also before we learned of Chase Utley's bum knee. Uh-oh.)
Philly got through Mardi Gras without a South Street riot, and President's Day without a flash mob.
Four of six Council members planning to grab the Deferred Retirement Option Plan cash payout and return to work thought better of it. We're still waiting for Frank Rizzo and Marian Tasco to have an epiphany.
While we're still talking politics, Mayor Nutter will have a Democratic opponent and - just when you thought the comedy well had run dry - it's ex-con Milton Street.
This is good news both for Nutter (who must have lit enough prayer candles to burn down Rome) and for voters. Street is a dream opponent for Mixmaster Mike, who can use Milton as a surrogate punching bag for John Street, a virulent Nutter critic. Milton's candidacy is good news for voters because while Street the Senior is short on sanity, he's as entertaining as a cat climbing a lace curtain. Republicans will be hard-pressed to top that act.
Polling numbers told Tiltin' Milton that Nutter is more popular among whites than blacks. (More good news! If so many whites like Mike, we aren't as racist as it sometimes seems.)
Milton's plan is to capture black voters, starting with those like himself who have a messiah complex, no job and a rap sheet. By the time Election Day arrives, Milton actually might move into the city.
Another population increase! We get better every day.
E-mail stubyko@phillynews.com or call 215-854-5977. See Stu on Facebook. For recent columns: