That reaction boiled down to: What was wrong with him? Or her, for letting him enlist?

But that was a different world from the eighth annual Veterans Dinner Dance at Coastline Restaurant in Cherry Hill on Tuesday night. The fund-raiser was a celebration on the eve of Veterans Day of the troops and their families, for the troops and their families, and by the troops and their families. The money raised will be split among groups such as the Wounded Warriors Rehab Center at Fort Dix, Camden County Veterans Services, and Gold Star Mothers.

The place was packed - organizers say at least 550 people attended. The buffet line wrapped around the bar, where people were stacked three or four deep, waving to catch a bartender's eye. Vets wearing caps from the American Legion or the Jewish War Veterans - the event's sponsors - were everywhere.

The crowd alone made it hard to get through the room. It took even longer with Kirstein, who seemed to know everyone and was stopped constantly for a hello, or a congratulations on the turnout. Kirstein helped put together the evening's auction.

Even with months of planning, there was still much to do. One minute Kirstein was in the VIP area, where state legislators waited, along with Joe Piscopo, the former Saturday Night Live star who entertained the crowd with a decidedly Jersey version of "New York, New York" - including a reference to high property taxes.

Then she was up near the stage, being introduced along with U.S. Rep. John Adler (D., N.J.), state senators and assemblymen, former Eagles players, vets and active-duty military. Wearing one of her son's camouflage jackets and hats, she fit right in.

Just 18 months ago, this was a new world for her. Then she was just starting Treats for the Troops, her nonprofit group that sent supplies to her son's unit and other soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. When the shipping bills started hitting $300 a week, which she and her husband, David, were footing, she decided to hold her own fund-raiser.

That event was held in the fall of 2008, on the Battleship New Jersey. The party not only helped her pay some bills, she says, but "introduced me to the world of veterans affairs and military causes."

The USO of Pennsylvania and Southern New Jersey took notice and asked Kirstein, a former events planner for Saks in South Florida, to help organize a Rock the Troops benefit concert last April at PJ Whelihan's Pub in Cherry Hill.

Now she was securely in the loop of vets and their supporters.

"It's kind of like one big family," Kirstein says. "Everybody joins with everybody else. Who do you know? Who can you get to come? What can you get?"

The Eagles have been huge supporters. Former and current players, including David Akers, John Runyan, Vince Papale, and Gary Cobb, have appeared at the events. Coach Andy Reid and his wife, Tammy, have also helped with projects.

"Everybody reaches out to help," Kirstein says. "It's one big group effort."

Kirstein plans to keep working with the Jewish War Veterans, Post 126, including on their next project, a Thanksgiving Day dinner for soon-to-be-deployed troops at Fort Dix. "They are so devoted to doing anything for active-duty military," she says. "They're just so sweet."

The vets themselves don't describe it quite that way. For them, there's really no choice.

"We do it to help them feel at home and have a regular Thanksgiving dinner," says World War II vet Arthur Seltzer of Post 126. "We do it to help the troops, because we're all veterans and veterans help veterans."

It'll be a particularly special event for Kirstein, whose son, Anthony, will be visiting from his current duty station, Fort Stewart, Ga.

Though the meal and festivities are only for service members, the public can play a role. The organizers want a large crowd of well-wishers to be outside America's Best Value Inn, on Route 70 in Cherry Hill, to welcome the busloads of soldiers when they arrive at 11:30 a.m.

Kirstein expects a good turnout that morning. Almost forgotten are those initial reactions to her son's enlistment.

"Things are totally different now," she says. "People are so much more welcoming and warm to people in the service."