In this week's season debut, the show really raised the ante. First, host Howie Mandel's phalanx of models (they remind me of Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistible" video) take the stage with four $1 million briefcases.

The contestant, Koshka Blagburn, had both showbiz dreams and a weight problem, and the show worked both sides of that equation. The first buyout offer came with a one-year, personally tailored weight-loss program administered by the trainers from NBC's The Biggest Loser.

Then Koshka's idol, Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, was on the phone to lend her moral support. But wait, that's not all. (Yes, Deal or No Deal is beginning to remind of those tacky TV sales pitches: "If you call in the next 10 minutes, you also get. . . . ")

Say hello to the casting director from the Broadway musical Hairspray, who promises Koshka that if she plays all the way to the end, she will get a trip to New York, a personal audition, and a guaranteed walk-on part on the Great White Way. ("Now how much would you pay?")

Before the season is over, I expect Howie Mandel to turn the lights on the show's mysterious banker, always seen in silhouette, to reveal that he is, in fact, Elvis back from the dead and ready to deal.

In the end, Koshka went down to the wire only to find her case was worth a mere $5,000. Oooh, so close! But if Deal or No Deal keeps revving up the stakes like this, it better keep a team of paramedics standing by because it's only a matter of time before some overwhelmed contestant keels over.

Cupid's tango. So they announced the contestants for this season's Dancing With the Stars, another surreally eclectic group that includes Olympic volleyballer Misty May-Treanor, boy-band refugee Lance Bass, notorious TV jinx Ted McGinley (every show he touches dies), soap actress Susan Lucci, rude comedian Jeff Ross, Hollywood bad girl Kim Kardashian, and octogenarian entertainer Cloris Leachman (who was so funny on Comedy Central's recent roast of Bob Saget).

No sooner was the motley crew introduced than various Internet betting sites began posting odds on who will win, along with various other side bets.

I particularly liked the site Betus.com, which handicapped the chances of a backstage romance developing. The favorites were Bass and Kardashian (5-1) and Bass and May-Treanor (8-1). Umm, guys, you do know that Misty is married and Lance is gay, right?

Besides, I believe that if sparks do fly this season, it will be between McGinley and Leachman.

What accent? You may want to catch FX's new series Sons of Anarchy, which debuts Wednesday, just to catch the riveting performance of Charlie Hunnam as a California motorcycle gang member.

He's so good in the role, you may be shocked to learn he's British - yet another actor from across the pond convincingly playing an American in prime time. Mr. Hunnam, say hello to Hugh Laurie (House), Jonny Lee Miller (Eli Stone), and Ed Westwick (Gossip Girl).

This trend (my colleague, movie critic Steven Rea, calls them "stealth Brits") began with Mark Addy (The Full Monty) starring in the 2002 sitcom Still Standing. The Screen Actors Guild should have nipped it in the bud right then, before they started shipping all of our starring roles overseas.

This won't take long. ABC is promoting Sept. 21 as "Stay at Home Week," suggesting we get a national holiday so we all have ample time to sample the treats of the new TV season.

But that strikes me as crazily ambitious, seeing as how ABC has only two new series and one of those (Opportunity Knocks) is a game show. Wouldn't a "Stay at Home Hour" suffice?

Mercy, mercy me. My favorite current commercial is the Nike spot that intersperses footage of our Olympic basketball Redeem Team working out with Marvin Gaye, the King of Cool, singing the national anthem at the 1983 NBA All-Star game in Los Angeles, for my money one of the greatest musical moments in TV history.

I'm not sure if the spot makes sense from a product-pushing point of view, but I could watch it all day.