Sideshow: Paris Hilton, pet-shop girl?

Dare we actually believe this one?

The Brit tabloids, including the Sunday Star and the Online celeb site Showbiz Spy, claim that America's greatest contribution to world culture,

Paris Hilton

, is headed to London for a prestigious position . . . as the star of

Paris' Pooches

, a reality show in which she will manage a (real-life) beauty parlor for dogs.

("Bathing a grody, smelly, flea-infested, mangy stray dog some snotty kid just adopted off the filthy street?

That's hot

!")

An anonymous source tells the Star, "The shop is perfect for Paris. It's a subject she's passionate about." After all, the source notes, in Paris' world, "tiaras for Chihuahuas are of real importance."

Paris has claimed that she has 600 pets scattered across the various mansions, homes, flats, pads and flophouses she owns all across our planetary system.

Entertainment and celeb TV newsmagazine

The Insider

reports that family and friends joined

Cameron Diaz

, 35, on Sunday to pay tribute to the life of the actress' late father,

Emilio

, at a memorial service in Seal Beach, Calif.

Boldfacers at the service included two of Cameron's ex-boyfriends,

Justin Timberlake

and

John Mayer

. The dress code was super-casual, with many showing up in Hawaiian shirts. "It looked more like a party," an anon source told People.

Emilio Diaz died last Tuesday of pneumonia at age 58. In a statement last week, Cameron said, "My dad was loved by so many people and his humor and spirit will always live on in our hearts."

Katie Couric

won't have to work on Sunday after all. That's because the North Carolina Democratic Party has canceled Sunday's previously announced debate between Sens.

Hillary Rodham Clinton

and

Barack Obama

.

Problem? Obama couldn't give the party a firm commitment.

Couric, the embattled CBS newsreader, was supposed to cohost the empty war of empty words with

Bob Schieffer

right after

60 Minutes

.

"I'm disappointed, we all are," CBS News senior VP of news coverage

Paul Friedman

tells TVNewser. USA Today says CBS has been negotiating for the debate since March 4.

Michigan native

Michael Moore

- beloved by some as a champion of the democratic way and salvific friend to the American Worker, reviled by others as an obnoxious, loudmouth busybody ideologue - has endorsed Obama for today's Pennsylvania primary.

Writing on his Web site

» READ MORE: www.michaelmoore.com

, the director of

Fahrenheit 9/11

and

Sicko

said that at first he didn't take sides between Obama and Clinton: He simply wanted a Democrat to win the presidency. But, he said, lately he's been turned off by the tactics used by Clinton's campaign. "The actions and words of Hillary Clinton have gone from being merely disappointing to downright disgusting," he said.

Madonna

's new album,

Hard Candy

, which isn't due out until April 29, has been leaked all over the Net. According to USAToday.com, the spill is so widespread, news outlets already have published reviews of the disc, including Rolling Stone (four out of five stars) and New York mag ("not bad").

That'd be the new, improved - and far more truthful - title for producer

George Lucas

'

Steven Spielberg

-helmed

Harrison Ford

-starring

Karen Allen

'n'

Cate Blanchett

-costarring film about an aging yet still adequately swashbuckling, whip-carrying archaeologist. That's because, per the Los Angeles Times, before Lucas, Spielberg and Ford can collect their respective chunk of the profits,

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

, opening May 22, must first make

$400 mil

just to recover its costs and break even.

Former

Sister, Sister

star and current

The Game

e

Tia Mowry

, 29, wed strong-jawed former

Lincoln Heights

actor

Cory Hardrict

, 28, on Sunday before 170 beloved guests, says People.

The do, at the Four Seasons Resort the Biltmore Santa Barbara, was pretty, lush and delish, the mag says. R&B crooner

Kenny Lattimore

sang "For You" - live and in person - as Tia walked down the aisle.

People also says

Kate Hudson

chose to mark her 29th birthday celebration on a lunch date (a

lunch date

?) with

Owen Wilson

and Owen's parents. An anon source guy or girl is, like, "The four of them sat away from the crowds and had a blast. Kate and Owen looked very happy and were talking up a storm to Owen's parents."

Awe!some!