Tattle | Jail sets some rules(!) for Paris' stay

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Paula Abdul (right) sees her role as being "that cheerleader to other people's success."

TMZ.COM REPORTS Paris Hilton's cellmate has been chosen. Felon-eHarmony.com?

Officials at the barred facility where Paris will soon reside, have decided a reckless driver - she's already moved in so you know she took the best bed - will be an ideal bunkie for the hotel heiress.

Prison matchmakers, TMZ.com reports, also believe the woman will not try to cash in on Hilton's stay.

Ha! She's probably already got a book proposal out to agents.

In preparation for the arrival of the paparazzi fave, jailers have already ratcheted up searches of anything electronic - so, ladies, don't even think of hiding a camera where the sun don't shine.

Furthermore, every prison staffer has been warned that taking pictures of Paris could result in dismissal.

We're assuming that also goes for smuggling her cigarettes, soft towels or a shiv.

She said she said

Lindsay Lohan's busy holiday weekend made it impossible for Tattle to weigh in on last week's big story. The heavyweight-bantamweight battle between Rosie "The Long Island Sound" O'Donnell and Elisabeth "The Great Right Hope" Hasselbeck.

Rosie said in her Web site's video-blog post Sunday that she will likely never speak to her "View" co-host again after their verbal brawl last week.

"I haven't spoken to her, and I probably won't, and I think it's just as well," Rosie wrote. "I wrote her an e-mail, and she wrote me back, and there you have it."

But on Tuesday's "View," Elisabeth said she and Rosie were "in communication a lot," though she didn't say whether they had talked or exchanged e-mails.

"This weekend gave us the opportunity to tackle our most important Hot Topic yet, and that was the power of forgiveness, and I believe that we've begun that process," Elisabeth said. "And so now that enables us to move on in a very positive way. . . . I'm really happy about that."

Wow, these two can't even agree on whether they're speaking with each other.

Unfortunately, the fight ended Rosie's colorful tenure that deservedly lifted the show's ratings. With Rosie, Elisabeth, Joy Behar, Barbara Walters and rotating guest hosts, "The View" became real reality television - a quartet of feisty, opinionated, occasionally overbearing women, arguing politics, sharing baby pictures and analyzing "American Idol."

It was like dropping in on your aunts and cousins.

Like Rosie, the show was all over the map - serious, silly, snarky, stupid - one minute tearfully discussing lung disease in 9/11 responders and the next giving out gift bags of cosmetics as confetti rained from the ceiling.

So it was disappointing to see in Rosie's video blog that she thought she never really fit in.

"I was really just like a foster kid for a year," she said. " . . . We considered adoption, but I didn't really fit into the family and now it's time for the foster kid to go back home."

Hey, sometimes the foster kid has a lot of adjusting to to do but she makes the family more fun and interesting. On TV today, especially on talk shows, everyone fits in. It's boring. Watching Rosie and Elisabeth go at it like two ADD kids in a sandbox wasn't.

It was also a good lesson to all opposing factions that these very different women could fight for the show's topical segments and then joke about decorating kiddie cupcakes after a commercial.

At least it was a good lesson until last week.

'Hostel' territory

Details magazine speaks with horrormeister Eli Roth ("Cabin Fever") about next Friday's "Hostel 2" and his own fears.

On why the "Hostel" victims this time are women: "It was a sequel, so we had to take it up a notch. Torturing women is inherently more horrible."

On what gives him nightmares: "I don't need nightmares - I have FOX News."

On casting unknowns: "In a good horror movie, the scare is the star of the show. Cast too many recognizable faces and that gets blurred. It wouldn't be as frightening to watch John Travolta get chopped up with a power saw because you wouldn't really believe it was real."

On his ideal leading lady: "Kate Hudson. I'd love to torture her. But then again, sitting through one of her romantic comedies is its own form of torture."

Tattbits

* Some people join the Peace Corps or the priesthood, but Paula Abdul says she figured out her purpose in life when she became a judge on "American Idol."

"I knew since I was a little girl that I had this profound way of touching people," she tells OK! magazine. "My purpose is bringing out everybody's best and being that cheerleader to other people's success."

* This so sounds like an urban legend, but cinematical.com reports that British filmmaker Mike Figgis ("Leaving Las Vegas," "Internal Affairs") was going through security at Los Angeles International Airport, when he was asked the reason for his visit.

"I'm here to shoot a pilot," he allegedly said.

And while virtually everyone in America knows that a "pilot" is a TV series' first episode, concerned immigration officials detained Figgis for almost five hours.

* "Extra" reports an L.A. court has ruled that Anne Heche and her estranged husband Coley Laffoon will share temporary custody of their five-year-old son, Homer.

Court papers also say Coley, even part-timing it, will still receive $19,000 in child and spousal support for May.

At that rate, Homer can stay with Tattle. *

Daily News wire services, Baird Jones and Daily News staffer Kevin Bevan contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com