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Ask Amy | Hygienist: What's bad about a hug?

Dear Amy: I am responding to the letter from Angry Wife in New York, who is "furious with the assault" on her husband from the dental hygienist who gives him a "long, lingering hug" after his appointment.

Dear Amy:

I am responding to the letter from Angry Wife in New York, who is "furious with the assault" on her husband from the dental hygienist who gives him a "long, lingering hug" after his appointment.

Her remarks are pathetic, and your response, that "the dentist definitely needs to be notified of this aggressive behavior," is equally pathetic.

I am a licensed dental hygienist, in practice for 40 years, nearly 27 years with the same practice. I provide professional treatment for several thousand patients, many of whom I have known for years. They are people who hug me, before and after treatment, with genuine response in kind from me.

I am not just a woman in a smock who "scrapes their gums." We have, and continue to develop, a professional relationship that requires their trust in my judgment and my skills. We are also "people" who recognize each other as such.

Perhaps this Angry Wife really needs a good shrink who can unravel the reasons she is so hostile, insecure and frightened. Meanwhile, I hope she hasn't hidden or thrown away her husband's floss to "retaliate."

Dear Myra:

To clarify, Angry Wife in New York claimed that two hygienists at her dentist's practice hugged men but apparently not women. As someone who has never had a long-standing relationship with a hygienist, I tend to view post-appointment hugs as unprofessional.

Despite your objection to this letter and my advice, you and other hugging health-care providers might want to be more conscious of whether your hugs might make some of your patients uncomfortable. Hugging isn't the only way to convey warmth and caring.

As I suggested to Angry Wife, the best person to handle this issue is the person who is being hugged.