How to find the right roommate

Anyone who has ever endured an unbearable blind date with an incompatible friend of a friend can relate to the horrors of being trapped into cohabitation with "the roommate from hell." To keep the peace with a long-term leasemate, it's important to hunt for the ideal co-renter carefully before agreeing to share your current or future rental space, say the experts.

"When searching for a roommate, it's best to find someone with a similar lifestyle to your own," says Jessica Torres, a lifestylist with Metro Partners, Inc., Yonkers, N.Y. "But it's important to dig deeper than just 'quiet environment' versus 'party central.' You want to know about the person's social life, job history and cultural and moral values."

Essential qualities in a lease partner will vary based on what is important to you, says Jamie Gallo, CEO of RentWiki.com, an apartment-vetting service. "Gender may be a factor for some, but I've had both male and female roommates and most have worked out. Age and relationship status may be important, as it gives you insight into habits-is your roommate's girl or boyfriend going to be practically living with you, for example?"

Michael Shotwell of Shotwell Property, Sterling, Va., says it's essential to select a responsible adult who can "clean up after themselves and fix a minor repair if they break something."

But perhaps the most valuable quality to screen for in a co-renter candidate is dependability. "Find someone whom you deem trustworthy and reliable, since roommates share the financial burden of rent and utility expenses," says Barry Salottolo, a licensed real-estate broker and co-owner of Westchester Spaces Realty, New Rochelle, N.Y.

Perhaps the best way to find a viable roommate is via word of mouth, Shotwell says.

"Network with your friends and ask around if anyone needs a place to live," says Shotwell. "It's a benefit if you already know the person or know something about him or her to give you an idea of what you're getting into."

Once you've interested a roommate candidate, conducting a thorough screening process is a must, Torres says. Before interviewing the person, "Google them, join their LinkedIn groups and check out as much as you can about them online. This will cut to the chase real quick if they have something in a public record that doesn't work for you - anything from drunken pictures on Facebook to more serious legal things such as liens on property, warrants, et cetera."

When it's time for live Q&A, be sure to ask the right questions. These include queries about the person's current job and history of employment, lifestyle, habits (smoker or nonsmoker?), and personal likes and dislikes that might affect compatibility, says Salottolo.

Some believe in being blunt right up front. Others, like Torres, recommend avoiding touchy questions that, if improperly phrased, can get you off on the wrong foot.

Other matters to negotiate ahead of time include exactly who writes the monthly rent check, how common areas will be shared, who cleans what and when, etc.

"When it comes to divvying up space, the key is to respect your roommate," says Gallo. "Bedrooms can be decided by the toss of a coin, but common living areas must be shared. Discuss anything and everything you can think of that may make you crazy before agreeing to a roommate relationship. And be honest about how your represent yourself - none of us is perfect."

It's also a good idea to draft, agree upon and sign a written agreement that clearly lists responsibilities, rights and schedules. This can be "a helpful tool in avoiding future conflicts," Torres says. "The agreement should state each person's rent, date that payment is due and extra living costs including division of electricity, gas and cable payments."

Lastly, Torres says it's wise for both you and the roommate you choose to sign the lease, which ensures that both are held accountable to paying the rent. Gallo, on the other hand, says it's best for each roommate to sign a separate lease whenever possible.

"This is most common in college areas. With the exception of student housing, where apartments are leased by the bed, understand that security deposits are on the apartment and do not belong to individual roommates," says Gallo. "Roommates do split, so have a plan from the beginning on how to deal with who owes whom what. If you aren't party to the lease, then you legally have no rights to occupancy."