We've all heard - or told - horror stories about the Philadelphia Parking Authority's inexplicably gleeful abuse of power. But the tale I'll tell in my column tomorrow is so far beyond the pale, it gives "callous," "outrageous" and "cruel" new meaning. Stay tuned.
Meantime, help me count all the ways we loathe the PPA. What are your Top Ten Reasons to Hate the PPA? I'll excerpt the best ones for tomorrow's paper.
But first, allow my fabulously witty colleague, Daily News cartoonist and graphic artist extraordinaire Brad Guigar, to kick things off.
Let'er rip, Brad!
1. At least when that loverboy at the office writes notes to your wife, you know you're not going to be stuck with the tab.
2. Three words: "Hide and cite."
3. Parking signs written by the criminally insane.
4. That arrogant way they snap the windshield wiper down.
5. The tickets I don't mind. It's when they write snide comments on the bottom, like: "If you make love the way you park..."
6. I hate the huge statues and ostentatious buildings and -- wait. That's the reason I hate the WPA.
7. Remember that story about the PPA officer who realized that he had made a mistake and that the driver he was arguing with actually didn't deserve a ticket so he apologized and ripped up the ticket, promising to be more careful in the future? Me neither.
8. If you're gonna write a ticket, then write it. You do not need to whistle the theme to "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
9. I prefer the old parking meters. "Kiosk" sounds like some kinda Rooskie plot!
...and the number one reason I hate the PPA...
10. Seventy-six bucks?! "Violation" is the polite term for it!