Sunday, July 5, 2015

You should always buy the bigger pizza, because math

Since life is short and we don't all have time to carry the one or whatever the hell else you'd have to do to math your way to the answer to life's biggest questions, allow me to point you in the direction of NPR, where their geniuses have some pretty graphs demonstrating the value of buying the biggest pizza every time you decide to pizza.

You should always buy the bigger pizza, because math

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This handout photo provided by Pizza Hut, shows a hand-tossed pizza. (AP Photo/Pizza Hut-HO)
This handout photo provided by Pizza Hut, shows a hand-tossed pizza. (AP Photo/Pizza Hut-HO)

Since life is short and we don't all have time to carry the one or whatever the hell else you'd have to do to math your way to the answer to life's biggest questions, allow me to point you in the direction of NPR, where their geniuses have some pretty graphs demonstrating the value of buying the biggest pizza every time you decide to pizza.

Take it away, Quoctrug Bui:

So I went big on the pizza-value question. The graph below is based on 74,476 prices from 3,678 pizza places around the country. To see how the price of pizzas changes with size — and how much more pizza you get when you get a large — drag the slider at the bottom the graph.

In case you need more guidance than the BUY THE BIG PIZZA graph is able to provide, you might also want to keep Collegehumor's pizza equation in mind when ordering for you and your loved ones.

How many pizzas should we order?
The food in the dining hall is gross. It just is. But with these four words you can rise above the foolish masses and become a beacon of hope for all within earshot: "Let's just order pizza." Now you've got to figure out how many pizzas to order. Here's how:
1. Tell everyone to hold up fingers for how many slices they want.
2. Add up all the fingers, and figure at least two more for some guy who is going to show up and want in. Now round up to the nearest multiple of eight (those are numbers like sixteen, twenty-four, thirty-two for you comm majors). That's how many slices you need.
3. DON'T GET AHEAD OF US.
4. Divide by eight. This is your "base" number of pies.
5. Add one "safety pie" for good measure.

[(Fingers + 2)/8] + 1 = # of Pizzas You Should Order

Surely that's the algorithm Mark Zuckerberg wrote on his window in The Social Network. The more you know...

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