In the end, it will not be bombs or bullets that do us in as a species, but bears. And, judging by the footage coming out of Jefferson Township, New Jersey this week, that end is extremely nigh. You see, the bears—they have learned to walk.
Or, well, at least this one has. Videos began surfacing last month of an apparent bipedal bear tearing around a small Northern New Jersey suburb, looking for garbage to snack on and terrifying bystanders. Sightings of the as-yet-unnamed bear calmed down as July came to a close, but this week brought a couple new incidents.
The subsequent footage has drawn comparisons to the legendary Bigfoot, with the bear not so much lumbering around as moving confidently through idyllic New Jersey backyards and suburban streets. Evidently, though, the bear's sudden move to a bipedal lifestyle isn't the result of some sudden evolution in brain processes or mythical hex, but rather a simple injury.
As per the video's description:
“This video was shot in northern New Jersey at 5:45am on 8/4/14. The bear is considered a ‘bipedal bear’ by the way it walks on its hind legs. It seems that one of its front paws are injured, and it has learned to walk, extremely well, on its back legs.”
"Extremely well," however, may be an understatement—this guy looks more or less like a man in a bear suit. But not enough for anyone to ever approach him because, you know, it's actually a bear. A bear that started walking pretty much because it felt like it.
So, next time you're in New Jersey and you see what appears to be Bigfoot, don't be scared—it's just a large bipedal bear. Compared to Bigfoot, that's hardly anything to worry about.