Twenty years ago, Louis C.K. was a total unknown trying to make it in the industry and slaving away in Conan's writers' room. On Thursday, a few days before Louis C.K. is probably, most definitely, almost assuredly going to win a primetime Emmy, Conan dedicated an entire episode to talking with the funniest man on the planet.
First, they discuss the notion of giving cell phones to children as Louis C.K. explains what it means to be human and how everyone is supposed to stew in their own sadness. He says he's not getting his daughters phones because Bruce Springsteen makes him sad sometimes (their impressions of The Boss are particularly impressive) and cell phones teach kids that it's okay to be mean. This is the most important opinion on cell phones ever concocted, probably.