Important things you need to know:
1. Ukraine has trained battle dolphins with pistols and knives strapped to their fins.
2. Ukraine did NOT lose any of the battle dolphins with pistols and knives strapped to their fins.
A recent RIA Novosti story alerted the world to the existence (and alleged disappearance) of these Ukrainian military dolphins. But, now, some updates indicate that part of the story is a hoax.
No, not the part about Ukraine having battle dolphins with knives and pistols strapped to their fins. The part about those battle dolphins disappearing. The Atlantic Wire issued a correction.
Update! Sad news, friends. It turns out that one piece of the Ukrainian dolphin story is, in fact, a hoax. No dolphins from the Ukrainian army's complement have actually escaped, according to this newspaper report.
So, rest easy knowing that Ukraine's dolphin assassins haven't defected like a pod of Jason Bournes. [The Atlantic]