Tina Fey and Amy Poehler—the evil geniuses behind Mean Girls (and 30 Rock and Parks and Rec, respectively)—are set to host the Golden Globes this weekend and they're sure it's going to be one sloppy party.
The gals are looking out for the rest of us average folk, too, though. They want to make sure we don't miss out on an opportunity to drink in excess and gorge ourselves on comfort food. So, Fey and Poehler went ahead and curated a list of rules for the drinking game you'll play at your Golden Globes party. And by "play" I mean "depressingly and begrudgingly sort of adhere to." And by "at your Golden Globes party" I mean, "while you sit alone on your couch and make faces every time Lena Dunham gets to speak."
- Drink any time an actress cries in a speech.
- Drink any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage.
- Drink any time someone says, "I didn't prepare anything!"
- Eat a meatball sub any time someone thanks Harvey Weinstein.
- Take off an article of clothing any time they show Judi Dench.
- Take off an article of clothing any time Maggie Smith wins.