Tim Allen wants to teach you everything you need to know about the N-word

You probably remember Tim Allen as the cookie cutter, testosterone-filled suburban dad on Home Improvement. Or maybe you think of him as Santa Claus. Either way, you might want to escort any young and impressionable children away from the screen before skimming the actor's recent interview with the Tampa Bay Times because homeboy talks about the N-word... a lot.

Allen was in the middle of an interview when Paula Deen came up and, instead of punting like any rational famous person, Tim Allen decided to jump right on into the conversation.

"(The phrase) 'the n-word' is worse to me than n-----,' " said Allen, who spoke to me on a day when the controversy ignited over Paula Deen's admitted use of that slur in 1986.

He goes on...

"You want to take the power away from that word so that no one is offended by it," he added, telling a 50-year-old joke by Bruce about how President Kennedy could defuse slurs by using them to describe Jewish, Italian and black people in his cabinet. "If I have no intent, if I show no intent, if I clearly am not a racist, then how can 'n-----' be bad coming out of my mouth?"

Oof. It gets worse. Like when he tries to excuse his use of the word by reminding everyone that he did that sh**y, sh**y movie with Martin Lawrence and the motorcycles. He follows that up by quoting the Webster's definition and not shutting the hell up. 

“In Webster’s old dictionary the word “n-----” means unemployed and indigent dock worker. That’s one definition. So I said, (to my brother) in that case … he lives in Boston and he’s not employed … so you’d be a n*****. And he goes, yeah. If my brother told me not to call him a dingleberry in front of my mother, ‘cause I knew it pissed him… pisses me off. As soon as Mom left, and I wanted to piss him off? I’d say ‘dingleberry, dingleberry, dingleberry.’ So if you’re around a word to be problematic for you and low intellect or uninvolved people find that out, they’re gonna call you n----- all day long ‘cause they know you don’t like it. And I said, so this debate rages in the public, but when it gets to the comedy world, we’re not even allowed to say it, and I gotta refer to it as the N word, F word, B word … it gets all the way down the line. It gets really intense; we’re running backwards.”

So, there you have it. Santa Claus has officially weighed in on when it is or is not OK to use the N-word. Ugh. [Tampa Bay, h/t Uproxx]