This is how you do breakups in 2013

Maureen O'Connor is the features editor for New York magazine's The Cut. She's got her own Wikipedia page (!!!) and Jon Hamm reads her Mad Men recaps, so you could say that things are working out for her.

For a recent piece in New York magazine (their August issue), O'Connor was kind enough to air all of the dirty, invasive, evasive, stalker-ish, overly-analytical, borderline obsessive (yet, somehow, totally normal) laundry regarding her relationships with her exes. Because, in 2013, when a couple breaks up, one party doesn't move away and start a new, separate life completely unattached from the time spent together. Instead, he or she stays right there in your pocket allowing for instant communication and helping Lady Antebellum win a Grammy.

O'Connor writes about blocking guys on Gchat and clicking through her college boyfriend's wedding photos. She writes about the meaning behind an ignored text and what it's like when an ex's new partner crowdsources help acquiring Plan B.

If you're young, single, bored, and/or intrigued by the notion that the increased popularity of sexting apps for your mobile device affects modern dating culture, then O'Connor's piece is the best way to procrastinate whatever you're actually supposed to be doing this afternoon.

There was also a time, I am told, when staying in touch was difficult. Exes were characters from a foreclosed past, symbols from former and forgone lives. Now they are part of the permanent present. I was a college freshman when Facebook launched. All my exes live online, and so do their exes, and so do their exes, too. I carry the population of a metaphorical Texas in a cell phone on my person at all times. Etiquette can’t keep up with us—not that we would honor it anyway—so ex relationships run on lust and impulse and nosiness and envy alternating with fantasy. It’s a dozen soap operas playing at the same time on a dozen different screens, and you are the star of them all. It’s both as thrilling and as sickening as it sounds. [The Cut]