This is America, so of course Jessica Simpson is getting her own sitcom

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson—professional famous person/baby-haver—used to earn money by singing and being a bad actress. Welp, we should all get used to the idea of her revisiting her bad acting roots because NBC (read: Comcast) wants to give her a sitcom because this is America and that's how things work here. Did we mention it'll be written by Nick Bakay, the dude the classic film Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Because it will be. Oh, and the chairman of the production company linked to the project called Simpson, "truly a modern-day Lucy." Like, from I Love Lucy because the world is a terrible place and there's no meaning to life. Thanks for everything, Comcast. [Warming Glow]