The Swiss Cheese Pervert returns…as Philly's best Halloween costume

Despite the likeness, the image you see above is not Christopher Pagano, 42, better known as the "Swiss Cheese Pervert." It is, however, an incredible re-creation of his image, and quite possibly the best Philly-themed costume of Halloween 2014.

Pagano, as you may remember, terrorized several Philadelphia women last year by driving up to his victims, and, as NBC10 puts it, asking "if they'd like to be paid to watch him rub the cheese on his genitals."

His behavior, pervy. The cheese, Swiss. Hence: Swiss Cheese Pervert.

For the record, here's the real culprit: 

Though he pleaded guilty to indecent exposure charges in June and was sentenced to eight years probation, Pagano's bizarre sex crime is still with us — though, now in the form of a one-off Halloween costume thanks to one Philly resident who goes by Brynn 'Monsterhands.'

"I'm a huge fan of bizarre and unusual news," Monsterhands told us of the inspiration behind her costume. "So my fascination with the story plus my need for a Halloween costume equals me as the Swiss Cheese Pervert."

That is not to say that Monsterhands was unconcerned with how some might react to the sensitive subject of parodying what is one of Philadelphia's most odd sex criminals — quite the opposite, actually. She tells us that her mind was on the possible reactions she could face for the costume but ultimately found that people responded positively. 

"This Halloween, I was pleasantly surprised," she says. "People would ask me who I was, and when I told them, they either got a good laugh or had no idea. I sang karaoke [The Fugees "Killing Me Swissly"] in the costume and after my performance, a woman came up to me and said it was the best costume she'd seen all night." 

And before you ask, no, that wasn't a real slice of Swiss she toted around all Halloween night. For this Swiss Cheese Pervert, that just wasn't in the cards.

"No way would I carry a real piece of cheese around — S-T-I-N-K-Y!" she says. "I ordered a single piece of Swiss from an online prop shop and dangled it the entire night."

Future Swiss Cheese Perverts (parody only, please), take note: That's proper cheese strategy. You can even dangle your slice around other varieties of cheese, as Monsterhands demonstrated late Halloween night at a stop at Pat's Steaks:

"Eh it ain't swiss but I'll eat 'em" - #swisscheesepervert

A photo posted by @brynnbrynn on

Time to step your game up, Halloweeners of Philadelphia.