Science says hangovers are making everyone really dumb

A new study indicates that there's no amount of Gatorade nor any greasy breakfast combination can immediately help your brain avoid the debilitating effects of a night of binge drinking. Researchers at the United Kingdom's Keele University studied the lingering affects a hangover has on the brain and the results aren't exactly ideal, especially if you're closing out the bar on the regular.

Preliminary findings, which are due to be presented at a conference at Keele University on Thursday, show taht suffering from a hangover impacts your "working memory."

This governs the ability to hold information in your mind and to manipulate it, leaving sufferers less able to perform tasks such as mental arithmetic.

The lead researcher, Dr. Lauren Owen, explains that your hangovers are increasing the likelihood that you'll make mistakes when using your working memory. Your hanovers are making you stupid.

She said that the early results seem to indicate a 5-10 per cent drop in performance of working memory and an increase in errors by around 30 per cent while participants were hung-over.

Reaction times were also marginally slower in those who were hung-over and represented someone in their 20s having the reaction times equivalent to someone in their 40s.

This is the part when I issue a blanket apology for everything that I miscalculated and/or forgot between 2007 and tomorrow. Consider yourselves warned, people. [Telegraph]