Samuel L. Jackson will say anything you want him to

YouTube frame grab of a campaign ad by Obama supporter Samuel L. Jackson (center) denouncing voter apathy.

Samuel L. Jackson—of Snakes on a Plane and Die Hard With a Vengeance fame—stopped by Reddit on Wednesday afternoon to announce a new charitable promotion to benefit the Alzheimer's Society.

It's simple, write 300 words and the most upvoted post I'll read out loud in monologue form.

I'm doing this for one of my favorite non-profits, Alzheimer's Society, as my family have been unfortunate enough to have been affected by the disease.

As a BONUS, I'm offering you all the chance to be flown to the UK for lunch with ME in return for just a tiny donation to this amazing cause. I'll also sign a beloved Kangol hat and mail it to anyone that donates $200 or more!

Uh-oh. The last time the Internet got to decide something like this, Taylor Swift was supposed to perform a concert at a school for the deaf. Before that, Pitbull found himself at a Walmart in rural Alaska.

We can only hope that someone from the deep Internet can conjure up something glorious for Mr. Jackson to recite. Though, we find it hard to imagine that there's something more creative/hilarious than his monologue in Caveman's Valentine.

"You're a zit on Stuyvesant's ass, but you're Stuyvesant just the same!" (The good stuff starts at 01:35) [Reddit]