Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Rich parents hire disabled guides to cut the lines at Disney World

Ah, Walt Disney World. It's the place where dreams come true...

Rich parents hire disabled guides to cut the lines at Disney World

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Fireworks punctuate the grand opening celebration at the Cinderella Castle for the New Fantasyland attraction at the Walt Disney World Resort´s Magic Kingdom theme park in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Thursday, Dec. 6, 2012. The new attraction is the largest expansion at the Magic Kingdom. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack)
Fireworks punctuate the grand opening celebration at the Cinderella Castle for the New Fantasyland attraction at the Walt Disney World Resort's Magic Kingdom theme park in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., Thursday, Dec. 6, 2012. The new attraction is the largest expansion at the Magic Kingdom. (AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack) AP Photo/Phelan M. Ebenhack

Ah, Walt Disney World. It's the place where dreams come true... and also the place where snobbish one-percenters hire "black-market tour guides" with disabilities so that their spoiled Waldo Aloysius Johnston III's don't have to wait in line.

The New York Post is reporting that the phone number for a company called Dream Tours was making the rounds among Manhattan's most privileged when travel spiked around spring break.

“My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

“You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.”

The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicapped” sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction.

How much does a tour like that run?

The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

Ugh. In my head, all of the parents who hired a disabled tour guide for the express purpose of cutting the lines did so immediately after attending a H.O.O.P. fundraiser and accusing "the help" of stealing a misplaced necklace. All of their kids grow up to star on My Super Sweet Sixteen and then punch Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the face at prom. The world is a terrible place and we're going to end up destroying ourselves. [New York Post]

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