Megan Fox to play April O'Neil in Michael Bay's 'Ninja Turtles' abomination

Remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies? You know, the live-action ones with the rapping ninjas (thanks for everything, Vanilla Ice), street fighting pizza delivery guys, the ooze, and Judith Hoag/Paige Turco (Who? Exactly.) playing April O'Neil?

Well, hope you're ready for Michael Bay to bludgeon your fond memories of these films with his upcoming series reboot. If you aren't already aware, the man responsible for Pearl Harbor, the 2010 Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, and Transformers 1-17 is producing a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film.

Bay and company recently pushed production because the script needed work. He previously upset fans of the franchise by insisting that he'd reimagine the Ninja Turtles as an alien race because he has no soul. And now Megan Fox has signed on to play April O'Neil. Anna Kendrick was also considered for the role, but Bay and company reportedly decided that she'd add too much credibility and excitement to the project, so they went with the woman from Jonah Hex instead.

Seriously, Michael Bay, why not just smother a Care Bear and call it a day? [Variety]