Megan Fox to play April O'Neil in Michael Bay's 'Ninja Turtles' abomination

Remember the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies? You know, the live-action ones with the rapping ninjas (thanks for everything, Vanilla Ice), street fighting pizza delivery guys, the ooze, and Judith Hoag/Paige Turco (Who? Exactly.) playing April O'Neil?