'Fifty Shades of Grey' book actually has herpes

Alright, so, two professors at a Belgian university decided to run a toxicology test on the 10 most-borrowed books from the Antwerp library.

All 10 books had traces of cocaine on them because of course they did. But, the most startling revelation to come out of the toxicology screenings was that two of the books, including E.L. James' massively popular Fifty Shades of Grey, tested positive for The Herp.

Toxicologist Prof Jan Tytgat of the Catholic University of Leuven: "The levels found won't have a pharmacological effect. Your consciousness or behaviour won't change as a result of reading the tomes."

However, people tested after reading the book would test positive for cocaine.

Prof Jan Tytgat: "Today's testing methods are so sensitive that traces of the drug originating from a contaminated book will be found in your hair, blood and urine."

Two books E.L. James 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and Pieter Aspe's 'Tango' showed traces of the herpes virus. The virus causes cold sores and may be transmitted via sexual activity.


Be careful out there, folks. It's a mad, mad, STD-ridden world. [deredactie.be, h/t Time]