It's no secret that the life of Hollywood's personal assistants isn't exactly glamorous. Hell, thanks to Entourage, even the Millennial bros are hyper aware of how truly awful some people can be when they feel an inflated sense of self-worth. But, New York magazine's The Cut has the tale of one personal assistant who didn't just have to cross the line for her boss—she blew it the hell up.
An anonymous source told her tale to The Cut's Jennifer Vineyard. The result is "I Was a Hollywood Personal Assistant," an account that includes anecdotes about the source having to dump her boss' boyfriend for her and reluctantly participating it what she calls "light drug trafficking."
My eyes were opened. Then I started to check all the details on the things I had to do for her. Like when I had to go to pick up her quote-unquote "herbs" — I didn't realize until then: Oh crap, I'm a drug runner. She said "herbs" because she was being holistic, and I was naïve and thought it was something herbal to help her calm down. Once when we went to a film festival, I flew out early so I could lay out the clothes she would wear. When she got in, she was like, "Did you get my stuff?" What stuff? "Oh, I put some stuff in your bag." Oh my God, I went on a fucking plane carrying drugs for you? I could have gotten arrested! You could have at least told me so I knew what I was doing, and put it in the bag that's not checked! What are you doing to me? At least ask and say, "Hey, do you mind carrying for me?" Not that I would have said no, but at least I could have put it in a concealed location.
Most of the tale isn't much of a surprise, but it offers a rare, real account of the type of crap The Normals have to put up with out in Tinseltown. Here's to hoping you don't have to get your boss' leather pants dry cleaned this afternoon while unknowingly smuggling his/her drugs. [The Cut]