Chubby Checker sues Hewlett-Packard over penis measuring app, 'The Chubby Checker'

Chubby Checker—the Philly-native best known for "The Twist"—has reportedly filed a lawsuit against the folks behind an app that helps guesstimate the size of a guy's penis based on his shoe size. "The Chubby Checker" app was available courtesy of Palm, a Hewlett-Packard subsidiary.

According to the A.V. Club, Checker is:

"...suing Hewlett-Packard over the unpopular (at a mere 84 downloads), long-since-removed app, claiming it has done "irreparable damage and harm" to his name, forever ensuring that people will associate it with "the obscene sexual connotation and images" of men's erect penises... "

Checker's lawyer suggests that the app has sullied the name of his client.

"This lawsuit is about preserving the integrity and legacy of a man who has spent years working hard at his musical craft and has earned the position of one of the greatest musical entertainers of all time," said lawyer Willie Gary of Chubby Checker"

Ohhhhhh, so Chubby Checker doesn't know everyone's penis size? Good thing Gary cleared that up for us. I was really concerned for a hot second there.

So, please, on this day and all henceforth, be sure to remember that Chubby Checker is definitely the guy responsible for "The Twist," but definitely NOT the guy responsible for measuring penises. It's a very important distiction to make. [A.V. Club]

UPDATE: Chubby Checker's people issued the following formal, definitely not at all self-involved statement to remind you that you should TOTALLY pay for "The Twist," which DOES still exist to go along with the lawsuit.

From 1958 to 2008, The Twist, according to Billboard Magazine is the #1 song of all time. This event will take place again in 2058. Until that event takes place, the Twist will be #1 for 100 years. The Twist is the #1 song of the sixties decade. The Twist is the only song to be #1 twice since God put us on this earth. Lets Twist Again is the first Platinum ever given. Lets Twist Again is the first Rock n Roll song to receive a Grammy. The style of dance that is on the dance floor, we call it, Dancing Apart To The Beat. This means we get a chance to see the goods while its moving in front of us. We know that exercising to music did not emerge until someone decided that the Twist was great exercise and that industry began and is still with us.

It's possible to buy Twist products all over the planet. Before Chubby Checker no one branded their product with the word Twist. It also seems that the name Chubby Checker is used by many companies and they know that it's a brand. It gets the attention of the people. It's a very very valuable commodity. There is a new song out called "Changes" by Chubby Checker. With all of this activity surrounding the excitement and the legend, we're more interested in airplay than litigation. As they say in the legal community, "Let the lawyers handle it."

It's all on the dance floor and it's all Chubby Checker. When it comes to Rock n Roll, Rock, Pop and Hip-Hop, it's all about Chubby.

Seriously, that is what his people sent us.