Chris Brown lost his virginity at age 8, complains about his awful community service sentence

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FILE - In this May 19, 2013 file photo, singer Chris Brown arrives at the Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena, in Las Vegas. (Photo by John Shearer/Invision/AP, File)

Chris Brown sucks.

That much is undeniable at this point. The insufferable R&B singer/crappy actor fell out of favor with most people with half a brain back when he beat the hell out of Rihanna. But, the American celebrity machine is an odd thing, so Brown has been able to continue to make music, sell boatloads of records, and even land the part of "Rooster" in Oscar shoo-in/You Got Served knockoff, Battle of the Year.

In advance of the release of  his upcoming album XL—which you definitely shouldn't buy—Brown sat down with (but didn't remove his sunglasses for) Decca Aitkenhead of The Guardian. The resulting profile is as insane as you'd expect from a guy with a tattoo of a battered woman on his neck.

Brown confesses that he lost his virginity when he was only 8. He seems to think that that's totally normal.

He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? "Yeah, really. Uh-huh." He grins and chuckles. "It's different in the country." Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. "By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I'm saying? Like, girls, we weren't afraid to talk to them; I wasn't afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it."

The rest of the profile features Brown's musings on his own career, navigating a room full of wolves, co-directing all of his videos (but not needing to take the credit), and how awful it was for him to fulfill his required community service.

"They want me to be the example. Young black kids don't have the fairer chances. You can see Lindsay Lohan in and out of court every day, you see Charlie Sheen, whoever else, do what they want to do. There hasn't been any incident that I started since I got on probation, even with the Frank Ocean fight, the Drake situation, all those were defence modes. People think I just walk around as the aggressor, this mad black guy, this angry, young, troubled kid, but I'm not. I'm more and more laid-back. It's just that people know if they push a button, it'll make more news than their music. Attaching themselves to me, good or bad, will benefit them."

Somehow, Brown's rambling and confessions sound crazier than you'd expect, even for an immensely rich, 24-year-old pop star who has managed to convince himself that society's dealt him a bad hand. Read all about Brown's raw end of the deal over at The Guardian.