Bradley Cooper trying to defend 'The Hangover Part III' is the funniest thing you'll read today

If you haven't already seen The Hangover Part III, imagine what it would be like to watch The Hangover Part II for the third time and you only laugh once. Add non-speaking cameo from Jax Teller and a bland appearance by John Goodman. Congratulations, you just saved $13.

The latest installment of The Hangover franchise has been lampooned by basically everyone who's seen it. Currently, it's garnered a whopping 22-percent approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. People—including Pajiba's Dustin Rowles—are less than impressed.

Rowles had the opportunity to pretend to interview Bradley Cooper at a recent "press junket for the film." Rowles starts off by complimenting Cooper and applauding his appearance on Fresh Air, during which Cooper discussed dealing with the death of his father and channeling his energy into the production of Oscar darling The Silver Linings Playbook.

The "interview" takes an awkward turn, though, when Rowles comes out and suggests that The Hangover Part III is trash and Cooper only took on the project as an obligation because the first one launched him onto Hollywood's A-list.

Rowles' mock interview is 100-times funnier than the actual film.

Cooper: I'm very proud of the work I put into it. It's a huge undertaking, these big comedy films.

Pajiba: But are you proud of the result?

Cooper: Yes, of course I am. This is a very strange interview, Duncan.

Pajiba: Dustin.

Cooper: Right.

Pajiba: Look. I consider myself a fairly bright person, and I absolutely loved the original The Hangover.

Cooper: It was a great movie.

Pajiba: Right. But, well, you say that The Hangover III (scanning back through my notes) "isn't for everyone." Isn't that the point of these kind of movies? To be for as many people as possible? If it's not for fairly bright people who loved the original movie, then who is it for?

Cooper: I don't know how to answer that question.

Pajiba: I'm not sure how you could answer question, either. I apologize. I've put you in an awkward position of having to defend a movie that's not necessarily in line with your better more recent output.

Cooper: Those are your words. Look, I'm not trying to defend anything. We wanted to stay true to the spirit of the original film, and I think in that respect, III was a success.

Pajiba: If by "spirit," you mean, repeating the same beats and the same structure for a third time, only with less enthusiasm, I agree with you 100 percent. Well, 80 percent, because there wasn't an actual hangover in the sequel, which is not exactly in line with the title of the movie. But I feel like you were not very successful in staying true to the comedic spirit of the original hangover. This felt more like a bland action film than a comedy. There weren't even many attempts at comedy. I mean, it was good to see John Goodman and all, but this was the rare instance where not even he could save a film. He couldn't even save his own scenes. [Pajiba]

It's funny because The Hangover Part III is bad. Like, really bad.