Saturday, April 18, 2015

Alleged John Mayer, Derek Jeter and Harry Styles sexual encounters pop up in Reddit thread

If you're not familiar with the goings on of Reddit, the gateway to the Deep Internet, occasionally a redditor will pose a question to the masses and people will respond with stories or follow-up questions in the comments section. One such example had a user ask fellow redditors who had sexual encounters with celebrities to anonymously recount their experiences.

Alleged John Mayer, Derek Jeter and Harry Styles sexual encounters pop up in Reddit thread

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. (Luis M. Alvarez/AP)
Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. (Luis M. Alvarez/AP)

If you're not familiar with the goings on of Reddit, the gateway to the Deep Internet, occasionally a redditor will pose a question to the masses and people will respond with stories or follow-up questions in the comments section. One such example had a user ask fellow redditors who had sexual encounters with celebrities to anonymously recount their experiences.

Though marked with a HUGE asterisk because this is Reddit and you definitely can't believe everything you read, the thread generated some incredibly entertaining and sexually explicit tales from people and friends of people and friends of friends of relatives of people who had purportedly done the sex with people like John Mayer, Derek Jeter, Darius Rucker and Harry Styles. Most of the stories are outlandish, incredibly sexually explicit, and second or third hand.

It's kind of like a NSFW whisper down the lane, but provides lovely details like the idea of Derek Jeter whispering "Yeah, Jeets" during the act and Darius Rucker singing while making breakfast the morning after. Tread lightly, be wary, and enjoy.

I’ve made a throwaway because One Direction fans terrify me. I’m from NY and was back in chelsea on break from college up north. I visited my favorite cupcake shop and ran into Harry Styles. (You don’t get to be a 20 year old american girl without recognizing the band members of one direction.) I tipped him off that the red velvet cupcakes were the best of the lot and made an exit. This shop is on a pretty quiet street (one of the old cobbled ones: the few the proud), so I turned around when I heard “excuse me.” There was Harry, recommended cupcake in hand. He walked to the end of the block with me and there was a car waiting for him. I thought seriously about just going home, but i was pretty sure this was the kind of adventure that doesn’t happen twice, so I got in when he offered. We drove around for awhile behind tinted windows talking casually, and eventually ended up at his hotel. He got out with a security guy that had been sitting in the front seat and told the driver to take me a couple blocks away, giving me directions to find his handler in the hotel. It was honestly surreal and I thought he was being a little bit ridiculous until I saw the literal mob of teenage girls at the front door. I worked my way through the crowd (nobody stopped me because I wasn’t with Harry.) Surprisingly, his slightly vague directions panned out and I ended up in his suite. We had great conversations, good sex, and excellent champagne, at which point he needed to leave for some facet of his job, so I headed out of the hotel outside past the mob of fans. It was a really bizarre experience, and ultimately I feel bad for him after witnessing all the smoke and mirrors that went into a casual afternoon. He seemed like a good guy, and I hope he’s doing well, but I have no desire for a repeat. I’m a really private person and am unwilling to take the risk of my name or picture leaking. [Reddit]

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