Friday, July 31, 2015

Jose Canseco says he had a threesome with Jim Carrey and 'jigawatted' in your mother

Jose Canseco-former Major League Baseball slugger, noted snitch, and attempted MMA fighter-is currently most notable when he's being an idiot on Twitter.

Jose Canseco says he had a threesome with Jim Carrey and 'jigawatted' in your mother

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Jose Canseco—former Major League Baseball slugger, noted snitch, and attempted MMA fighter—is currently most notable when he's being an idiot on Twitter. Seriously, you wouldn't believe half of the crap that comes from his account.

But, for as utterly useless as Canseco has proven to be most of the time, he is—on occasion—unintentionally hilarious. On Thursday afternoon, Canseco—for whatever reason—decided to swing by Reddit for an AMA. The results were just as wonderful as we all had hoped. It should be noted that a lot of the stuff Canseco says is, ahem, outlandish. So, all of his responses should come handcuffed to an entire salt mine.

Um, a big fat "[sic]" throughout because Canseco is hardly literate for a man that's written a book.

On time travel:

pill_popper: Jose, you once said "Time travel is possible. Will explain later" https://twitter.com/JoseCanseco/status/235078910310768640

Can you please explain your theories on this?

DeckerR: You just don't have enough jigawatts.

Jose Canseco: your mother thinks I do.i just jigawatted in her

On Pete Rose:

Gordie_Howe: Do you think Pete Rose should have a life time ban from baseball?

Jose Canseco: best hitter ever they r using him as an example ,stupid bud selig

On his Jim Carrey-related sexual history:

WafflesandWorldviews: How meaningful was it when Jim Carrey screamed "I'm Jose Canseco!" in Liar Liar? He could have screamed many other names when he thought of playing baseball with his kid.

Jose Canseco: hes a big fan of mine plus we had a threesome together

Hey, look! Canseco's blatant inferiority complex offers another sexual-related retort to deflect attention from the topic at hand.

G-manP: What did it feel like when that ball bounced off your head and over the wall, physically and emotionally?

Jose Canseco: your girlfriend rubbed my head after,so physically and emotionally i was releived.lol

Do yourself a favor and check out the rest of the AMA here.

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