Throwback Thursday: Looking back at ECW December to Dismember
Each and every Thursday I will look back at a different pay-per-view event from the past via the WWE Network. Want to see a certain event covered? Send your suggestions to @VaughnMJohnson on Twitter.
Last week, I covered WCW Slamboree 2000. Next week, we'll look back at WCW Clash of the Champions 13.
ECW December to Dismember
Date: Dec. 3, 2006
Venue: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Ga.
Some random notes
This was the one and thankfully only edition of December to Dismember. It was an attempt to provide WWE's third brand, ECW, it's own exclusive pay-per-view like the ones Raw and Smackdown had.
Not long after this, WWE put a stop to the brands having their own pay-per-views. I have to believe that this was one of the reasons why.
First, let's begin with the letters ECW. Yes, that stands for Extreme Championship Wrestling, but that really wasn't the case when WWE resurrected the brand earlier in 2006.
You see, when the original incarnation of ECW closed its doors in 2001, WWE swooped in and purchased all of the promotion's assets.
WWE got everything that pertained to ECW. It got all of the trademarks; all of the intellectual properties and most importantly, it got the video library. WWE owned the legacy of ECW, including Eastern Championship Wrestling.
Although ECW as we all knew it ceased to exist in 2001, the cult following the promotion garnered during its brief existence did not.
Proof of this was when WWE released The Rise and Fall of ECW on DVD in 2004. Until this day, it is still among the best-selling video releases in WWE history.
Eventually, someone got the bright idea to hold an ECW reunion show and what better place to produce such an event than WWE. After all, what's an ECW reunion show if you can't even use the letters E-C-W.
WWE also thought this was a good idea and produced One Night Stand in 2005 and it turned into a rousing success not only from a quality standpoint but from a financial one as well.
WWE decided to double down and produce another One Night Stand the next year, but decided to up the ante. Not only was it producing One Night Stand, it was re-launching ECW as a third brand and using the event as a launching pad.
On that night, ECW stalwart Rob Van Dam won the WWE championship from John Cena and put it alongside the ECW World Heavyweight title to become the first man to hold both titles simultaneously.
Everything was looking good for ECW.
However, things went south very quickly. It didn't take long before people began noticing that the re-launched ECW was not the ECW everyone knew and loved. Instead, it was a watered-down, over-produced version that fit well within WWE's standards, but not of those that had followed the underdog promotion during its heyday.
And this was before WWE went in a more PG direction, so that wasn't even a valid excuse.
All was not lost though. There was still a glimmer of hope that WWE's version of ECW could turn into a viable product. Whatever hope it had died on this faithful night in December of 2006.
What we're about to revisit is considered one of the worst pay-per-views in wrestling history. Heck, maybe even in the entire history of pay-per-view.
That's right, people actually had to pay to see this in their homes. It probably wouldn't even be worth spending $9.99 for a WWE Network subscription to watch.
Some sad souls actually sat and watched this in person. Fortunately, there weren't that many sad souls there, as the event didn't even draw more than 5,000 fans. That's not even good for an untelevised event let alone a pay-per-view.
That's enough of me ranting. Let's get to the matches.
The Hardy Boyz def. MNM
Despite this event's poor reputation, it actually started off with a pretty entertaining tag team match.
As good as this match was, it wasn't necessarily worthy of being on a pay-per-view. It felt more like a quality television match than a match that is being featured on a pay-per-view. Get used to that. I'm going to say that a lot during this show.
The quality of the match was helped by the fact that it featured a pair of very over babyfaces in Matt and Jeff Hardy and heels that had some heat in Jonny Nitro, Joey Mercury and Mileena.
The match was hyped as potentially the final time each team would be together as unit. However, that didn't turn out to be the case as both teams came together again at Armageddon later on that month.
Balls Mahoney def. Matt Striker
This match was about whether Balls Mahoney could wrestle under the civilized rules of a normal, basic wrestling match. Striker, a former schoolteacher, didn't want to have an extreme rules match. Instead, he wanted the rules to be extremely enforced.
What made Striker such a heel was his condescending tone and his own willingness to break the very same rules he wants strictly enforced.
Again, this match was not bad. I have definitely seen worse matches in my lifetime, but it had no place being on a pay-per-view. It felt like I was watching an episode of Velocity when I was viewing this match.
Elijah Burke & Sylvester Terkay def. The Full Blooded Italians
This was yet another match that didn't really belong on a pay-per-view, even if it was ECW.
At least this match featured The Full Blooded Italians, which were one of the humorous parts of the original ECW.
But that didn't matter on this night besides getting a nostalgic pop from the fans. This was about Elijah Burke and his heavy, Sylvester Terkay.
Terkay was always a very interesting guy to me, as he had an amateur background out of North Carolina State. He actually finished second to Kurt Angle, who went to Clarion, in the 1992 NCAA heavyweight tournament.
He also had a mixed martial arts background, working for multiple promotions in Japan. He had the size and a pretty unique look, but never really caught on WWE. I thought Vince McMahon would have surely tried to give this guy every chance to succeed, but went through the company rather quickly.
Burke, now known as TNA wrestling commentator D'Angelo Dinero, had a professional boxing background and was a pretty good professional wrestler as well.
He also had a pretty good look and had charisma to match, but for whatever reason, he didn't last too long in WWE either. On this night, it looked like both Terkay and Burke were going to be around much longer than they actually were because they quickly dispatched the F.B.I.
I hate to repeat myself, but this match wasn't half bad. Once again, however, it did not belong on pay-per-view. As a matter of fact, outside of one match, this entire show should have never happened.
Also, I heard someone doing a TNA chant during this match. That's how quiet it was in the building. There was once a time when people actually like TNA better than WWE. That was a long time ago.
Daivari def. Tommy Dreamer
This match wasn't that great and it felt like it belonged on Sunday Night Heat.
The only reasons why this match took place on this event was because The Great Khali was being pushed to the moon by McMahon and Tommy Dreamer was an ECW original and could take a butt-whooping from Khali.
None of that had to do with the winner of the match, Daivari.
There really isn't much to say about this match besides a fan yelling, "This isn't extreme! This is entertainment!" He wasn't wrong.
Kevin Thorn & Ariel def. Mike Knox & Kelly Kelly
Again, why was this match on the show? This was the best ECW could offer? If this was the best it could offer than it should not have had its own pay-per-view, but what do I know?
Before the match, Kelly Kelly used the microphone to wish her crush CM Punk good luck in the main event. A CM Punk chant started as a result. We have heard thousands of them since. I blame Kelly Kelly for this.
Kelly Kelly tried to do this in a sneaky way, as if Mike Knox, on-screen boyfriend at the time, wasn't going to hear her say that on a microphone that literally thousands of people could hear.
Even worse than that logic gap was Kelly Kelly's ability to sell pain. She was not a good wrestler at this point and probably should not have been in the ring, but WWE put her out there because if people cheer for a woman in WWE, she must eventually wrestle, no matter how much how little intentions she had on doing so beforehand. Kind of sounds like Eva Marie, doesn't it?
To be fair, Ariel, better known as Shelly Martinez, wasn't much better.
Mercifully, this match ended quickly and we got a surprise appearance from Sandman. Sandman came in through the crowd, busted himself open with a beer can and proceeded to beat the crap out of Thorn with kendo stick.
And that was it. Yup, that was the end of all of that.
ECW World Heavyweight championship (Elimination Chamber) – Bobby Lashley def. Big Show, CM Punk, Rob Van Dam, Hardcore Holly & Test
Before talking about this match, I must give a little backstory. It makes the match much more entertaining in hindsight.
There was a lot of bickering going on behind the scenes and it was mostly between McMahon and the creative head of ECW, Paul Heyman.
Apparently, Heyman wanted his pet project CM Punk to eliminate the champion Big Show very early in the match and eventually win the entire thing.
McMahon was against the idea, as he wanted Bobby Lashley to win by defeating Big Show at the very end. As you would expect, McMahon got what he wanted. It is his company after all. He is the boss.
You see, McMahon loves big guys and loves having said big guys beat even bigger guys in an effort to make them seem like big stars (no pun intended). You see this still exists today by the number of times we've seen Roman Reigns (big guy) face Big Show (much bigger guy) in the last year and change. You'll see a lot more similarities to Reigns as this match goes on.
Heyman apparently hated the decision to go with Lashley as the winner, clashed with McMahon on the way home from the event and was promptly let go as a result. He didn't return to the company in any fashion until 2012.
But before any of that, Sabu was originally scheduled to participate in this match, but was attacked during a segment earlier in the night. Hardcore Holly replaced him.
Heyman was the mean authority figure attempting to stack the deck against all of the good guys in the match, specifically Lashley (sounds familiar?), so he had Sabu taken out and had Holly inserted to provide insurance for Big Show to retain.
Then the match actually starts and it is clear which wrestlers the fans are behind and in what order. It was clear that they were behind CM Punk followed by Rob Van Dam. They were cool with Lashley, but almost by default. They didn't dislike him, but they weren't quite ready to be over the moon about him just yet.
It makes McMahon's decision to go with Lashley to win all the more puzzling.
But if you follow the history of McMahon's decisions, him opting to get behind Lashley instead of Punk should not have been all that surprising.
Lashley perfectly fits the mold of what McMahon wants in a top star: He has a great body, he looks larger than life and I guess some women like him. CM Punk, although very talented, did not fit that mold. Women liked CM Punk, but he didn't have that larger-than-life look to him. Therefore, he was the first one eliminated in the match.
As for said match, it was decent. There were weapons placed in every chamber so each man that entered the match did so with a weapon in hand. One of them was a steel chair that CM Punk brought into the match. It busted open Van Dam rather quickly.
But here is where things get really interesting. Test pinned Holly, but the referee didn't count all of the way to three. However, the referee ordered him out of the ring as if he did.
Test then eliminates Van Dam with a sick elbow drop from the top of a chamber onto a chair that was lying on Van Dam's face.
This set up Lashley to overcome the odds against Test and Big Show. Sounds familiar? Sounds a lot like what is being done with Reigns today. This is classic McMahon booking. You see all throughout his time as the owner of the company.
Guess what? It didn't work for Lashley either. Again, that's not to say people didn't like Lashley, but he didn't exactly become the top star McMahon envisioned him to be.
Also, guess what Lashley's finishing move was? The spear. There are way too many parallels.
At the end of the day, Lashley vanquished Big Show to win the ECW World title. He carried it into the following WrestleMania when he faced Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires between McMahon and Donald Trump. What a thrill that was.
CM Punk has recovered quite nicely from this and Lashley is doing great things as well. No harm was done to either of these gentlemen in the long run.
Overall, this was a dreadful show but not because the matches were bad and the show was a complete mess. I've seen WCW shows worse than this.
It was because none of this belonged on pay-per-view. Even the Elimination Chamber match was barely passable for pay-per-view. Everything else belonged on ECW television or on Velocity or Sunday Night Heat, but not a pay-per-view that people are spending upwards of $50 to see.
It was short and the matches had nothing going for them. They were merely there to fill up a two-hour block.
Be gone with you, December to Dismember. I shall never watch you again.