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We're from Philly, and we panic

Breaking: Chip Kelly is no longer the coach of the Eagles, according to dubious sources on Twitter who never watched "All the President's Men."

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Breaking: Chip Kelly is no longer head coach of the Eagles. That's the message coming out of the totally legitimate reporting on Twitter from a guy who manages sales at a cleaning company and intentionally-vague "informed speculation" by Mike Florio, professional NFL thing-knower:

Stay tuned in to the internet to watch Mike Florio run in circles around the word "nothing" for several more hours.

Meanwhile, here's what we're hearing from real reporters:

Turns out the real reporters (you know, they guys with journalistic standards) were correct. Instead of Chip leaving, he got a promotion.

Let this be a reminder to you - don't trust dubious sources on Twitter. They'll let you down every time: