Monday, October 20, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Welcome to the Stu-niversity

This is a tuition-free university, as I wish they all could be, but your Dean of General Studies is a realist. While the idea of living in a castle in the air is appealing, I can't afford the rent.

Welcome to the Stu-niversity

(Not) the Stu-niversity campus
(Not) the Stu-niversity campus JOE RAYMOND

Welcome to the Stu-niversity.

This is a tuition-free university, as I wish they all could be, but your Dean of General Studies is a realist. While the idea of living in a castle in the air is appealing, I can’t afford the rent.

Daily attendance is not mandatory. There is no dress code. There is no cafeteria, no gymnasium. The campus exists only in our minds. (And it is lovely.) There is no mandated course of study, no set curriculum, no majors, you may drop out at any time without penalty. It is neither a liberal institution nor a service academy. You can drink and smoke, if you wish, because the classroom is at your end. The Stu-niversity has no maintenance or janitorial services. That’s also at your end.

We require no books, no pens, no slide rules, no calculators.

We require only a mind open to alternative ideas. You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to share them, you don’t have to agree with them.

Ideas and arguments will be presented civilly and without obscenity (for the most part). Also without -isms, such as race, gender, religion, nationality, geography, sexual orientation. Super-sensitive students who may find offense where none exists are urged to enroll in an Ivy League school.

Political Correctness is banned, along with minds flash-frozen by any orthodoxy.

I sometimes make my points with humor. If your IQ exceeds room temperature, you will know when I am kidding. If not, please transfer elsewhere.

The Stu-niversity expects you to read the “lecture” to the end before commenting on it. Students are expected to be civil and rational. There is extra credit for bringing fresh facts or observations to the class. Agreement is not required. I don’t always agree with myself. 

I will respond to you in the tone you use on me. (And I can’t promise a response to everyone because my j-o-b keeps me b-u-s-y and there are more of you than there is of me.)

[Editor’s note: One is plenty. Trust me.]

The new term has begun.

Stu Bykofsky Daily News Columnist
About this blog
Stu Bykofsky has been a columnist with the Philadelphia Daily News since 1987. Prior to the column, his assignments included theater critic, TV critic, copy editor, general assignment features reporter. He supports civil-rights and animal causes, he opposes political correctness, bicycles on the sidewalk and most other forms of selfishness and stupidity.
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Reach Stu at stubyko@phillynews.com.

Stu Bykofsky Daily News Columnist
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