The trainer’s guide: Gym etiquette 101

Are you exercising proper gym etiquette during your workout? Often times the health club head honcho stands behind a curtain like the Wizard of Oz, dictating detailed rules such as not bathing before marinating in that whirlpool stew of floating Band-Aids accented by stray hairs, and the need to refrain from flushing that parachute-size sanitary napkin down the can. While these rules and regulations protect the locker room from erupting into complete bedlam, I can't help but wonder where the fitness floor etiquette guidelines are posted, to ensure that exercisers work up a sweat rather than a Hulk-like rage. The laws of Weight Lifting Land can be vague, and that dated sign camouflaged in the shadowy corner of your gym, requesting that members wear proper attire and refrain from cellular phone use, doesn't quite cover the real rules to practice while working out. That's why I have crafted the following sacred doctrine of fitness floor faux pas to avoid - kind of like that bench with the sweaty butt cheek marks. Here's the breakdown to staying trim, prim and proper:

Weight Your Turn. Exhibit A finishes up three sets of fifteen chest presses and three consecutive winks at himself in the mirror. You have patiently waited, shifting your eyes from his behemoth body, to the bench, to the clock, and back, in anticipation to use the area next. One problem, he decided to leave his free weights, which would require a crane to lift, stacked on the chair and stinky, sodium-saturated towel draped over the headrest. This is no-no number one. Monopolizing benches, mats and machines will land your head in the gym guillotine. There is an unwritten rule regarding the amount of time allowed at each station. Once you are done using a specific area, you move on and savor the memory. You do not get carte blanche to hold a VIP spot for when you decide to return a half hour later, ok?

Tread Lightly. You had a long day and are craving isolation on the treadmill. Just as you begin to fire up your machine, Chester the gym chatterbox taps you on the shoulder and begins to pepper you with questions such as, how to properly check your heart rate, would you like to order a box of Girl Scout cookie's from his granddaughter and your thoughts on Liam Neeson's performance in Taken 3. It is at this point, you wish you could signal Liam to use his "specific set of skills" to save you. General rule of thumb: If someone has in headphones, chances are they do not want to talk, look or help you in anyway.

Another cardio complication to avoid is running on the treadmill as if cinderblocks are tied to the soles of your shoes. No one likes to run next to a dinosaur, not to mention your joints are one stride away from collapsing completely. At some point in your workout, pull out your ear buds and check in with the sound of your footsteps on the machine. You will be amazed by how many dirty looks you'll avoid by taking this simple precaution.

Clean Team. Sometimes I feel like I need a hazmat suit in order to mount a machine after Sweaty McGee finishes using it. There are towels and wipes for a reason. If you use a bench or machine, please be neat and wipe the seat. If you stand up after using the leg press and notice the outline of your underwear, be a pal and give that seat a shot of alcohol and a good scrub down. Furthermore, not cleaning up after yourself poses a major health threat as MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus Aureus) is highly contagious through skin-to-skin contact. I go to the gym to pump out some upper body work, not feel like I'm crawling through the trenches of a sweaty, bacteria soaked swamp.

Huff and Puff. Breathing is a major part of executing an exercise efficiently. However, there is no need to breath so heavily that you sound like a woman who is about to deliver triplets sans epidural. If lifting up your barbell requires a guttural, primal roar, then may I suggest lowering your weight load. Nothing throws off the balance or core work of others quite like a random scream, followed by the slamming of 300 pounds onto the ground. An additional suggestion on your exhale, is to be mindful of your meal or alcohol intake the night before your workout session. If you digested copious amounts of garlic or hard liquor, your body will cleanse its system through sweat. Exercising next to someone who ate enough garlic to keep Dracula at bay, well, it stinks.

Next time you enter the world of workout warriors, practice proper fitness decorum. Manners matter.

Earn it.

Read more Sports Doc for Sports Medicine and Fitness.