Monday, September 1, 2014
Inquirer Daily News

Sixers' loss disgusts humans, sentient computer programs alike

- So hideous was the Sixers' 45-point loss to the Clipper last night that even the people living inside of our phones were disgusted.

Sixers' loss disgusts humans, sentient computer programs alike

Brett Brown, mesmerized by ineptitude. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)
Brett Brown, mesmerized by ineptitude. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

- So hideous was the Sixers' 45-point loss to the Clipper last night that even the people living inside of our phones were disgusted.

- Along with plenty of people not living in our phones, making the Sixers' terribleness one of the first bonds between humans and robots.

- In case you wanted to see an example of what people are talking about, because you hate yourself I guess, here's Blake Griffin brutalizing an unplugged opponent.

- It looks like the NFL's first openly gay player is likely on his way, which is awful news for everyone who is stupid.

- Figure skater Ashley Wagner is set to become this Olympics' McKayla Maroney, which is huge news for internet people. Wagner's frustrated reaction after receiving her score has caught on like wild fire cat pictures. If only there was a way to figure out what she's saying...

- Shocking news out of Elle Magazine that David Beckham's daughter does not share his respect and admiration for the fashion industry.

- Somebody finally made that Houston Astros/malfunctioning Olympic ring light comparison.

- Seriously, that Sixers game though...

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