Phillies are train wreck in 2014, per MLB projections

PICTURED: You, in the future. (AP Photo/Matt Rourke)

Clay Davenport put together his MLB projections for the season, a combination of math and a computer I'm guessing, and produced a realistic breakdown of how the season could end.

In the AL, all the standard players are there - the Rays finally break through and take the East, the Tigers beat up on the Central, and the A's quirk out a flag in the West, with the Rangers and Red Sox receiving consolation Wild Cards. The Yankees glare at Masahiro Tanaka all offseason long.

In the National League, the Cardinals of course win 90 games probably by accident, while the Dodgers and Nationals finish off their respective divisions, and the Braves and Giants complete the All-Boring NL Playoff Picture. I guess people would get behind the Nats. Also, Puig.

Elsewhere, the Phillies explode in a cloud of tears and bone dust, catch fire, and start twirling until they hit the ground and go right on through the earth's core, where they explode a second time. Their run differential is -75 and they just sort of lie there in last place behind the Marlins in the NL East. 

Is this a changeable future? It honestly seems a little grim even for me, a guy whose been writing all winter about how terrible the Phillies are going to be. But good lord. In Davenport's future, we are barely surviving a summer of what has to be wheel-spinning, complete derailing, and endless casualties.

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