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Germaphobe Fashion

Is this model’s look a harbinger for fashion in the future? At Philly Fashion Week, she trotted out on the runway with this gooo-geous gold organza dress and completed her look with a large white surgical mask fastened to her head. The audience clapped wildly. Please, people! That is really dark!

Well...I can’t blame them. Fashion does bisect reality in so many ways and germaphobe fashion is here to stay. And that’s nothing to sneeze at.

But this brave, scary new world can possibly be made a bit more beautiful, if not more cynical, with these latest fashion accessories.

You know how people bling-out their cell phones? Well, where are the hot Swavorski-encrusted cases for my portable plastic hand sanitizer? ? Judith Leiber, are you listening? I’d be flashing it oh-so-often. And I often wonder, how much time should elapse after I shake someone’s hand when I can spray disinfectant on it, without being rude? Uh, I think the answer is…as fast as possible, without them seeing.

Will we have boy-in-the-bubble outfits that surround our head in sanitary loveliness? The ultra white look would be de rigueur. Helmut Lang, let’s get on this tout de suite!

How about chunky necklaces and/or elegant chains to compliment your mini-personal air supply purifier that you wear around your neck. That way you can breathe deeply and not worry that it will be your last. Maybe add some aromatherapy for good measure. Sigh.

I’ve heard the definition of a cynic is actually an idealist “on guard”. If fashion represents what we consider our personal ideal, should we play it safe?