Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
In a revelation that has shocked us to the very Ground of Being, MTV has decided that the original cast of its post-bac humanities distance college course, Jersey Shore, will be ousted after the reality series’ sixth season next year.
That means, for those readers with Jersey Shore-sized IQs, that if the show comes back for a seventh season, it will not feature Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino or even Jenni “JWoww” Farley, the three human beings who have made our lives worth living.
Yes, I’m afraid it’s Situation Critical in Seaside Heights!
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
Novelist and The Sandman creator Neil Gaiman, whose commencement speech last week at the University of the Arts went viral over the weekend, has made headlines again for composing a poem especially for a fan who had it tattooed on his back.
The fan, Los Angeles' Burton Olivier, asked Gaiman if he’d compose a comic book panel to be inscribed on Olivier’s back as a large tattoo. Gaiman was game and wrote a poem which was then illustrated by famed comic book artist David Mack.
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman star Jane Seymour (whose actual, real given name is groovy: Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg) will make two appearances Friday (7-9 p.m.) and Saturday (5-8 p.m.) in King of Prussia.
Seymour, 61, is making in-gallery appearances in support of a joint exhibit of paintings by the actress and her son, Sean Flynn at the Wentworth Gallery at the Court at King of Prussia, 690 West Dekalb Pike, #2016.
Gallery info at 610-337-8988 or at http://bit.ly/LaXXjp
Info on Seymour, her appearances and images of her work:
http://www.janeseymour.com/home.htm
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
He’s dazzled us with his remarkable talent for belching, boozing and babe-ing and his incredible prowess as a suntanning machine.
Now Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino dims the lights, so to speak, to whisper to us of his pain as an addict and his road to salvation and sobriety.
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
If reports are correct, producers of the James Bond film series are committing one of the greatest outrages since the unjust trial and barbarous execution of Jean d'Arc:
Replacing the MI6 agent’s trademark beverage vodka martini shaken not stirred (and with “a large thin slice of lemon-peel,” as Ian Fleming wrote in Casino Royale) with beer. Why?!
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
Cherry Hill High School West grad Gary Gagnon will face the entrepreneurial, cut-throat capitalist sharks on the Mark Burnett-created reality competition show Shark Tank for its season finale Friday on NBC to sell them on a type of eco-friendly footwear he calls Remyxx sneakers.
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
I’m told some Neil Gaiman fans have suffered insomnia for months, years, even decades, kept awake by burning questions about the author, screenwriter, graphic novelist, comic book writer, children’s book writer, songwriter, husband and father.
Perhaps you take issue with his use of a particular comma in a particular panel in an early issue of Gaiman’s famed The Sandman series?
Are you haunted by the inky existential darkness Gaiman imposes on poor Coraline?
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
The world already is way ready to move on From The Big News of The Month, to wit that Britney Spears has signed a fat (albeit most definitely not phat) $15 million deal to share her worldly wisdom and considered opinions as a judge on Simon Cowell’s answer to Simon Cowell’s American Idol, The X Factor.
Demi Lovato also has been signed by the show, TMZ adds to the multiple Brit reports.
Thing is, we can’t move on.
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
British actor Sean Bean most recently loved and admired for his turn as a wintry lord in HBO’s Game of Thrones was arrested by London police on Wednesday for allegedly making harassing, abusing phone calls to his ex-, Georgina Sutcliffe, London tabloid Daily Mirror revealed today
Bean who questioned but has not been charged with a crime.
Bean married Sutcliffe who was married to Bean from 2008 to 2010 was his fourth wife.
Tirdad Derakhshani, Inquirer Sideshow Columnist
MyAnna Buring is known to a growing cadre of British horror film connoisseurs for her terrific turn in Neil Marshall’s The Descent, her enigmatic presence in the brutal assassin-for-hire thriller/comedy, Kill List and her role as mega-blond vampiric Alaskan hottie Tanya in the Twilight: Breaking Dawn films.
The 27-year-old Swedish-born actor tackles what she says is her first serious, meaty dramatic role in Paula Milne’s new mini-series, White Heat, which debuts tonight at 10 p.m. on BBC America. (Read about the show here.)
He hopes SideShow will help citizens better understand the vicissitudes of the Consumerist-Military-Industrial-Infotainment Complex, or, in other words, why Britney Spears has a tendency to shave her head, Brangelina to adopt children, and Lindsay Lohan to crave imprisonment. Read SideShow every morning.
Reach Tirdad at sideshow@phillynews.com.
