Nick Foles may have had the performance of the NFL season yesterday, when he completed 22 of 28 passes for 404 yards, and 7 TDs.
Or so we thought.
If you're an Eagles fan and were looking forward to enjoying your day at the office, celebrating what was arguably the best performance ever by an Eagles QB, just know that Foles' record setting performance was merely a product of a league where your obese neighbor down the street could have done the same thing.
So say some national writers who are here to inform you that Nick Foles' performance was not as impressive as you think. Jason Cole of The National Football Post was at least kind enough to say that "Foles deserves great credit" before proceeding to take a dump all over his record setting afternoon, noting that the NFL is a league where QBs are putting up bigger numbers than they used to.
"Thus, while Foles deserves great credit for his historic performance, it might be time for people in the league office to take a good look at what they are creating. Maybe, just maybe, the fans might not take it seriously anymore if it keeps happening."
See what you did NFL?!?!? You made Nick Foles be good, you thoughtless idiots! Change the rules so this never happens again!
Only Peyton Manning can throw for 7 TDs for it to be legit, as Cole points out:
"While Manning’s achievement didn’t raise eyebrows, Foles’ record effort should."
Bleacher Report's Mike Freeman (formerly of CBS Sports, the New York Times, Washington Post, and others) didn't even bother with the "Give Foles credit" nonsense. He just went right at it, calling Foles' performance "garbage."
"In tying the NFL record for touchdowns in a game with seven, what Foles did was take advantage of today's NFL. That isn't hard. You know why it isn't hard? Because Nick freaking Foles did it."
Freeman sang a different tune after Peyton Manning's 7 TD performance Week 1. After that performance, Freeman gushed:
- "Buzz Aldrin wears Peyton Manning pajamas."
- "This is what the great ones do. They make playing the position look so simple—like turning on the dishwasher, when playing quarterback is more like piloting a Mars rover."
- "Please don't start with the "it's only one game" stuff. This wasn't an ordinary game, because Peyton Manning is no ordinary quarterback."
When Nick Foles did it, it was completely disregarded.
- "As great as the sport is, as beautiful as it can be, it's totally, completely and utterly rigged for the offense."
- "I don't know how these quarterbacks play with a straight face. They can't be touched. Their receivers can be barely touched. Exhale on offensive players with any sort of forcible breaths and out come the penalty flags."
- "Did Foles splice Joe Montana's DNA into his mitochondria overnight? No, the rules allow players with moderate levels of skill to perform like supermen. In many ways, it's almost cheating."
- "When Manning threw for seven touchdowns in the season opener, it was the first time in 44 years that had happened, and he was just the sixth player to do it. Along comes Nick freaking Foles just two months later. And yes, there is a difference between Manning doing it and Foles. Manning has a dozen Pro Bowls, two Super Bowls, a league MVP--there is an immense body of work. He also did it against the defending Super Bowl champions. Foles has no such track record and he did it against the Raiders."
- "This will happen again soon. Maybe even this season. Maybe it will be Manning once more. Or Foles again. Hell, Blaine Gabbert might have a shot. Because the NFL is morphing into something. The CFL."
Mike Freeman, for the record, wrote a 600+ word training camp preview about the Eagles at a time when there was an open competition for the starting QB job between Foles and Michael Vick, and Freeman somehow managed to not type Nick Foles' name once. In fact, he skipped right over Foles and went right to Matt Barkley:
"The quarterback situation is a mess. It's basically an open competition that Mike Vick will likely win but even if he does, Vick doesn't stay healthy. Fourth-round pick Matt Barkley will see playing time, maybe a significant amount."
But I digress.
The moral of the story here is that if Peyton Manning does something great, sit him down in the nearest recliner and hand-feed him grapes like the ancient Romans used to do. If Nick Foles does something great, figure out where the NFL has failed us.