This was to have been a big day at the Republican National Convention with the president and the vice president scheduled to speak. Instead, the game was cancelled due to rain. The big men all in the Gulf region tended to Gustav now, thankfully, downgraded to a category one. This left the women to prevail, like nurses on a battlefield. The enormously popular First Lady Laura Bush appeared before the huge enormous video wall, with a virtual flag unfurling in the background.

Of late, Mrs. Bush has become a fictional character with novelist Curits Sittenfeld's just-published American Wife with, it should be noted, some very convincing and disconcerting scenes of conjugal harmony. She was demure, as always, in a trim ivory suit and sensible heels, beseeching the multitudes to stop their applause and let her speak. She implored the delegates, and whatever viewers may have turned on the tube on a splendid Labor Day at 5:50 p.m., "that first we're Americans." True, but then she noted that the five Gulf Coast governors "all happen to be Republicans."

 Can a disaster be appropriated by a political event? Certainly, Katrina, the horror that it became, was a watershed for the Democratics and a flood of biblical proportions for Bush. Gustav seems a signal that this is the GOP's time to harness a storm. Certainly, Gov. Texas Rick Perry tried to make that claim in the first of four Gulf governor recorded addresses to the GOP faithful. He stood before a massive military aircraft flanked by National Guardsmen intoning the values of the party. By contrast, Alabama Gov. Bob Riley, Mississippi's Haley Barbour (a former GOP chair, wistful about missing the proceedings) and Florida's Charlie Christ (once a potential veep candidate) were less partisan in their announcements. Understandably, Louisiana's Bobby Jindal, a rising star in the party who was scheduled to speak Wednesday, was absent from the addresses.

 After the announcements, Cindy McCain appeared, resplendent in a gold shirt dress and towering heels. She looked so shiny and new, compared to the demure Laura Bush. The truth is she's never looked better, her face softened by banged and aglow with color. She seemed a shiny penny -- or, perhaps, a gold dollar -- at the proceedings. And then it was all done by 6 p.m.

Is there a Twins game tonight? It was the right thing to do for the party, and the country. But what of the punditocracy? How will MSNBC's Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann, the Martin and Lewis -- or, if your're younger, the Liam and Noel Gallagher -- of cable news? What will their Herculean egos battle about for the next 400 hours? Out bet: Sarah Palin's unborn grandchild. With the storm appearing the wane, the Xcel Energy Center dark, Labor Day evening extending, that will be a lot of dead time to fill and hot air to blow. Fear not, there's a new episode of Gossip Girl at 8 p.m.

Four days later, we're still trying to relate to Sarah Palin. She's a working mother. We're a working mother. She's a former runnerup for Miss Alaska. We've still recovering from covering Miss America. (One reader points out that when it comes to women, John McCain is no maverick. All his women, both wives, this running mate, have been beauty queens.)

She has a bear skin her father shot in her office. Somewhere in our house, we're sure there's a teddy bear or two. Then again, she has five children. Five. The youngest was born in April and has Down's Syndrome. Palin took three days off before returning to work. Three days. We took off six months and, upon returning, still fell asleep at our desk.

 Question: Is she breast feeding and governing the state of Alaska? That's pretty impressive if she's going to tour all over the country with a breast bump.

Her husband works. Ours does, too. He works many, many miles away. He also has time to compete in the 2,000-mile Iron Dog snowmobile race, which he's won four times. Our husband doesn't do that, though he would like a dog.

 Question: Who is watching the kids? Yes, this isn't a question one asks of men though we know the Obama children are being watched by their grandmother, Michelle's mother. Now, Palin has more drama in her life with a baby on the way. That would be her daughter's baby.

She's 44 and about to become a grandmother while mother herself to a four-month old. Today, Barack Obama issued this statement: "I have said before and I will repeat again: People's families are off limits," the Democratic nominee said. "And people's children are especially off-limits. This shouldn't be part of our politics. It has no relevance to Gov. Palin's performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. So I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18, and how a family deals with issues and teenage children, that shouldn’t be a topic of our politics."

Still, one wonders whether Palin's dramatic personal story will continue to upstage her professional achievements.

What if they gave a convention and nobody came? Or, rather, they held a convention and all of the delegates showed, much of the press, but everyone’s attention was turned elsewhere. This is precisely what has happened at the 2008 Republican National Convention. The world, or rather the Americans interested in the political process, were supposed to be tuned to St. Paul but nature had other plans. The forces of nature have trumped the political forces. Hurricane Gustav is either a blessing or a curse for the Republicans depending on how you look on it. On the one hand, the storm, downgraded to a category 2, called President Bush and Vice President Cheney away from the Xcel Energy Center. Both men were scheduled to speak tonight. Bush’s national approval rating is 28 percent, though it is 63 percent among Republicans according to the latest CBS/New York Times Poll. McCain has painted himself as a maverick. His relationship with the president and vice president has been rocky. One of the big dramas of this convention was how the hall would deal with an unpopular leader. On the other hand, the storm is bound to recall the failures of the Bush administration three years ago with Katrina. With more air time to fill than ever with the leaders’ absence, television commentators will switch back and forth between the storm, past footage and the convention center. Note that CNN’s Anderson Cooper, NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charlie Gibson and CBS’ Katie Couric all flew south with the storm. And, if that wasn’t enough, Monday was marked by an unplanned baby eruption. Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter Bristol is pregnant. She plans to keep the baby, marry the father and, yes, John McCain knew when he tapped Palin to be his running mate. Now, in addition to all the other unusual achievement on this vice-presidential candidate’s resume -- former beauty queen, television sportscaster -- she can add 44-year-old grandmother.

So, McCain has many houses. His campaign says he has four homes. The Obama campaign says he has seven.  

McCain's campaign countered with charges that, while Obama has but one home, it's a mansion with four fireplaces and a wine cellar.

So we've move on from the elite wars -- elite, readers say, is someone who thinks he's better than you -- to rich, when they were long twinned. Now, it's a dissing war into who is more privileged.

What constitutes rich, especially when rich people never describe themselves as such but merely as "comfortable?"

Does one house with four fireplaces trump having four, or seven, residences? McCain's primary residences are in Phoenix where fireplaces are useless, and a Washington, D.C. condo (ditto). Then again, plenty of beach homes are going up with multiple fireplaces.

 So are fireplaces and wine cellars the new sign of luxury?

Obama's South Side Chicago home does have four fireplaces. It was built 96 years ago, when people needed fireplaces, especially in Chicago.

If you have a Weber, does that count as a second fireplace? Also, if you store a few bottles of $8 malbecs in the basement, plus the odd bottle of vermouth for visiting relatives, does that make it a wine cellar?

 

Hmmm, do you need to check with staff to know how many houses you own? Because that's precisely the answer John McCain gave a reporter.

This would be an uh-oh, send-the-staff-into-overtime moment in so many ways.

First, if you don't know how many houses you own -- one might be the answer for many Americans, none for others -- then perhaps you're not quite as in touch with the electorate as you thought you were. Bill Clinton didn't even own a house when he ran for president.

Two, responding to that question by saying "I'll have to check with my staff" is also somewhat out of touch.

Most of us don't have staff, unless we want to include children (debatable as helpers) or a dog that cleans the floor. 

It's four, reports the Politico.  No, it's seven, Newsweek states. Check out this search of properties on the Mother Jones website: http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2008/08/9324_john_mccain_houses_properties_addresses.html

Which makes it understandable by McCain didn't want to give reporters any straight talk.

This, by the way, is the man who recently defined rich as someone who has $5 million.

Obama's Pennsylvania campaign team sent volunteers today to Philadelphia's Love Park to ask citizens if they know how many homes they own. (Hmm, might get a higher number a few blocks south and west in Rittenhouse Square.)

 

 

 

 

 

Sure, you could look at this as Pennsylvania's Indictment Summer where almost every other week a city or state legislator, or a staff member or several, face state or federal charges for less-than-legal business.

But, hey, at least our mayor isn't spending this August night in the hoosegow.

This fate belongs solely to Detroit's embattled mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.

Kilpatrick, who is married, is fighting perjury and other felony charges, some stemming from alleged fibs told about text messages to his former chief of staff and paramour. The subject of those messages ranged from the dismissal of a whistle-blower, the heart of the perjury and felony charges, to their emotional and physical affection for one another to the latest developments on American Idol.

Facing trial and per terms of his bond, Kilpatrick was instructed not to leave the Michigan..

Which he did on July 23.

Actually, he left the country.

For the exotic shores of Windsor, Ontario across the Detroit River.

It was official business, Kilpatrick explained, having to do with selling Detroit's part of the tunnel between the two neighboring cities. He apologized, apparently believing this would spare him further penalities from the court, going so far as to bring his young sons to court so they could see their father admit he was wrong.

It was an emergeny, Kilpatrick's lawyer argued.

"Who was dying?" Michigan District Judge Ronald Giles asked.

"The City of Detroit was sick," Kilpatrick's lawyer argued.

The judge did not care.

"If it was not Kwame Kilpatrick sitting in that seat — if it was John Six-Pack sitting in the seat — what would I do?”  Giles asked. “And the answer is simple.”

Kilpatrick's lawyers immediately appealed the ruling to a circuit judge.

Who is scheduled to hear the case Friday morning.

Which is how Detroit's mayor has come to secure lodging tonight in the Wayne County jail.

 

The Olympics begin Friday, 8/8/08 at precisely 8:08 p.m., promising as much politics and athletic competition.

Which means these are the dog days of American politics.

In other words, the stupid season has official begun.

John McCain drags Paris Hilton into his anti-Obama "celebrity" ads, ignoring the fact that her parents are contributors to the Arizona Republican's campaign.

So Paris is burning. And Paris strikes back, thanks to the funnyordie.com.

No word as to whether Britney, the other celebrity listed with Obama, plans to launch her own campaign/blog video but this would be hard to top.

The ongoing saga of the 44-pound male/female/male cat continues to astound. This morning, intrepid local reporters were unable to interview the fat feline. That's because the cat was making the rounds of national gabfests in Manhattan even as her gender and name were up for debate. Soon, we imagine, agents will be hired, one for commericals and print modeling, the other for acting.

One minute he was Captain Chunk, the next she was Princess Chunky, a glorious name if there ever was one.

The next he was Powder, an altogether nice name but without the thundering implications.

Who can't love a story about a cat so fat its gender can't be determined?

The cat has been deemed one of the first victim's of the housing crisis, surfacing in a Camden County animal shelter after the owner, a senior citizen, lost her home due to foreclosure. Fat cats hold a special place in our heart. No one sets out of have a large pet, sometimes they just happen. One minute, you're taking care of a tiny itty, bitty adorable kitten. A few months later she's auditioning for Wagner.

The vet tells you there's a reason. Perhaps the ernomous one is Maine Coon, and genetics intended her to be a heavy weight.

But, really, what does anyone really know of a feline's love life? Unlike dogs, they're not bred for beauty or to keep the gene pool in rarefied circles, the sort of arrangements once arranged solely for royalty. Cats embraced diversity long before humans. Adopt a kitten, there's no telling what you'll get in the cat.

In our case, a very fat one. Not on the level of Captain Chunk/Princess Chunky/Powder, two pounds shy of the Guiness record, but large enough to make floorboards shutter.

In the dark, it was once hard to determine whether a small child or very large pet was entering the bedroom to snuggle. The cat was put on a regime of diet food, one that is likely to last the rest of her days.

We wish the best to Chunky Powder and his owner though a few lingering questions remain. Did the cat literally eat the owner out of house and home? Or is that size due to a normal diet and freak genetics?

 

 

Rare is the individual you can love unconditionally.

Most people reserve such affection for pets.

However, we love Helen Mirren. We find her perfect. And amazing.

And, if you haven't seen this, here is Dame Helen, master thespian, in a bikini.

At age 63.