OMG Gossip Girl Returns!

Our No. 1 guilty pleasure, the CW's Gossip Girl, returned Monday night after a hiatus of several election cycles. As in, forever.

While the writers were out on strike, the economy tanked, making the exploits of Manhattan's spoiled and trust-fund teens even more absurd.

Titled "The Blair Bitch Project," Blair returned to her previous despicable behavior. Thank Bergdorfs. Who, after all, wants a nice Blair?

The horrible puns continue. Blair's Russian maid awoke her charge from the bed announcing "Club Bed vacation cancelled." There was talk of "Upper East Side-borgs." The clones came out in droves. There was a Breakfast at Tiffany's parody. Class issues continued. Jenny stole a Valentino to buy a Dolce. She lied, rose and fell and rose in the social heirarchy, and all in one episode!

One of the many fabulous things about GG, which never even attempts reality, is that the actors real -- or allegedly real names -- are even more absurd, gender-confused and porn-confused than those of their characters:  Blake Lively (female), Leighton Meester (female), Penn Bagdley (male), Taylor Momsen (female), Chace Crawford (male).