Purple Change

Change is hard. Especially when change is basically useless these days. A $5 is what a $1 once was -- OK, if you go back to 1972 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics inflation calculator.

Anyway, thank heavens the bill got a makeover for spring. The new five spot, introduced last month, features a particularly violet Abraham Lincoln. It's insistently purple.

Some wags wonder if this is a visual intimation that   our 16th president might have been homosexual, a theory put forth in C.A. Tripp's 2005 The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln. The book was criticized by many Lincoln scholars who pointed out that Tripp, who died two years earlier, was not a historian but a psychologist, gay activisit and acolyte of the sex researcher Alfred Kinsey (who was found to have some young friends in his closet).

The new bill is intentionally bold. "We wanted this redesigned bill to scream 'I am a five! I am a five!" Larry Felix, director of the Bureau of Engracing and Printing told the Associated Press. "We wanted to eliminate any similarity or confusion on the part of the public between the $5 bill and the $100 bill."

Like that happens all the time.

The infusion of color in our currency reveals how bland and stolidly green our bills have been while the rest of the world's cash is more variegated. 

Next up? It's all about the Benjamins. The $100 bill will get an overhaul though no release date has been set. Wonder what color would best suit our Franklin. Chartreuse?